In 10 Lines: Fallen by Lauren Kate

6 April, 2013 Musing Musers 39 comments

Format: select

reading_by_estelar-d3d6jv0Welcome to In 10 Lines.  Ever wanted to know what happens in a book, but couldn’t be assed reading it for yourself?  Cuddlebuggery comes to the rescue with In 10 Lines.  In 10 Lines we will tell you everything you need to know about the featured book so that you can cheerfully move on with your life, or choose to read it should your attention be piqued.  So sit back, relax, and try not to clench as we proceed.

Today we’ll be reworking Fallen by Lauren Kate, a book so horribly, painfully bad that Kat thought she’d destroyed all memory of it, forever, from her mind.  Apparently she failed though because she retained enough to do this post.  So without further adieu, we present to you: Fallen by Lauren Kate in 10 Lines!

Lucy: Jeez it sucks starting a new school.  Especially because I killed someone and all.  Oh, wow, that guy over there is totally gorgeous!  Forget about all the self flagellation I was doing!  INSTA-CRUSH DIVE-IN!

Daniel: Fuck off.  I don’t like you and there is absolutely nothing suspicious about my behaviour at all.  I am not, for instance, a fallen angel.

Lucy: Your lips say no, but your eyes say yes.

Cam: No, his eyes definitely said no. And he is definitely not an angel.  And I really like you for…reasons.

Lucy: Whatever, Cam. Hey, Daniel, can I stalk you anyway?  Can I take your hastily retreating figure as a yes?!

Penny: Hi!  I serve only an arbitrary purpose in this novel.

Lucy: Jeez, just do the one thing I need you for and die al- NOOOOOOOO!!!! You killed Penny!  You bitch!

Bad guy: Meh, seemed like a good idea at the time.  Now, lie down on the stone altar so I can kill you for… reasons.

Daniel: Seriously, Lucy.  You just got on the altar because she told you to?  You didn’t even fight back a little?  Goddamnit!  I guess I better save you now.  Which I can do because I am totes an angel and we’re in love for…reasons.

Lucy: You know, I think I liked you better when you were calling me a stalker and telling me to piss off.

The End.

 

Kat Kennedy

Kat Kennedy

Co-blogger at Cuddlebuggery
Kat Kennedy is a book reviewer and aspiring author in the Young Adult genre. She reviews critically but humorously and get super excited about great books. Find her on GoodReads.
Kat Kennedy
RT @huffpostqueer: This couple's princess engagement pics are a modern-day fairytale https://t.co/wY8MbULG0W - 12 hours ago
Kat Kennedy
Kat Kennedy

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39 Responses to “In 10 Lines: Fallen by Lauren Kate”

  1. booktasty

    OH I SO AGREE! I wasted so much time on this book! I kept thinking “this is bad. Why am I reading this? I should stop this”. But then 5 chapters later I’d still be reading and struggling with the same thoughts…In the end I finished it. I want those hours of my life back.

  2. Jackie Farrow

    This makes me glad that I didn’t give into my friend when she went all “ERMAHGERD YOU HAVE TO READ IT”. Dodged a bullet there :’) But still I might ask to read it, only to see if it’s as bad as everyone else on here thinks it is.

  3. starsaloft

    Ahaha, love it! I got about 30ish pages into this book before it hit the DNF pile (which I almost never do).  Just too much Instalove and nonsense for me.  But then I read Unearthly and discovered that angel books CAN, in fact, be awesome.

  4. Fangs4Fantasy

    Fallen! Aaaargh, there’ goes 3 months of therapy to forget that book (and by 3 months of therapy, I mean 3 bottles of rum. Not counting what i drank to read the WHOLE SERIES *whimper*)
    I’m impressed you got 10 lines out of it – after all that requires 10 lines of stuff happening in this AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL book

  5. Steph

    I think this was the most accurate review I’ve read of this book. I admit, I liked it in the beginning…it intrigued me. Or maybe I had just read that crap with pacth and Nora and thought that anything could be better than that.
    I. Was. Wrong.
    But when she invited everyone over for Thanksgiving dinner without telling her mom and then decides THAT’s the best moment to dissappear without explanation, I flounced. No thanks angels.

  6. pinkindle

    Yep, that’s basically it (although her name is Luce, not like it matters though). This book was so bad, but one day I’m going to pick up the next one, in hopes that it gets better. The covers are so pretty and tempting. 🙁

  7. AjManik1

    Read this series last year, I liked it a lot!!  But you more or less nailed it!!  I love the way you sneak Doctor Who in!!!  I love that show!!  Even the old ones i watched as a kid!!  So happy new shows are out!!!
    Aj

  8. a_tiffyfit

    LOL These have to be the best blog posts EVER. All these books that sounded great, I’m now moving to the bottom of my TBR. Maybe for beach reading. I love these posts!

  9. InkyReads

    I love it! Taking a book and breaking it down like that in a snarky hilarious way. You pretty much got it too. Haha. Can’t say I ever really loved these books, but looking back at it this way I can only laugh and wonder if it was ever worth it. O.O 
    –Inky 😀

  10. skwigent

    I love these! They’re hilarious and, sadly, quite accurate. I particularly dislike this series. I kept reading it thinking it was going to get better, but it never did. The explanation for the whole thing was…lacking. I can’t really think of a better descriptor, but I’m sure you know what I mean.

  11. MaijaSteinbrika

    This one is great! To bring it down like that, hilarious!
    I can’t believe I atempted to read the second book, which was just as bad, if not worse. You could do 10 lines on it, too.

  12. MaijaSteinbrika

    This one is great! To bring it down like that, hilarious!
    I can’t believe I atempted to read the second book, which was just as bad, if not worse. You could do 10 lines on it, too.

  13. DenaiEdwards

    Don’t judge me for knowing this, but her name is Luce, short for Lucinda (one of the downfalls of remembering most details in books is that you remember the bad ones).

  14. FallenFeller

    I can break this entire, bitter site down into one phrase:  
    “…aspiring author in the Young Adult genre.”

      • cynicalsapphire

        Steph Sinclair FallenFeller I can break this entire, bitter comment down into one phrase:
        “unable to comprehend the difference between subjective and objective opinions”
        Don’t like the site, don’t read it. There are plenty of fangirls to play with elsewhere.

        • FallenFeller

          @cynicalsapphire @Steph Sinclair FallenFeller
          Sigh. Might one say to the aspiring YA author, “Jealous of a wildly successful series? Don’t hate on it.”
          Are you suggesting our aspiring YA author is objective? If so, she is the only person who is.

        • cynicalsapphire

          FallenFeller Congratulations, you have completely misunderstood. Opinions on literature are subjective. You loved Fallen and that’s valid. Kat didn’t, and that’s valid too.
          Besides, this feature is done only in fun. She’s covered books she likes as well as ones she doesn’t.

      • FallenFeller

        @Steph Sinclair FallenFeller
        Not really reading things seems to be de rigeur for this site…”Lucy”…

        • Kara_M
          Twitter:

          FallenFeller Awwwww. What a sad, sad life you must lead to have to troll blog posts on blogs you don’t like. You should try reading a blog you DO like. Your mood would be much improved. Also, If you are a fangirl of this book, you hvae shit taste in literature.

        • FallenFeller

          @Kara_M FallenFeller
          And what would all of your thoroughly fulfilled women do with your lives if you took your own advice and only read books you liked? How would you ever get your requisite hating in?

        • Kara_M
          Twitter:

          FallenFeller My own advice? I don’t believe I gave you any advice other than quit commenting on blogs you don’t like and walk away. It’s kind of pathetic. 
          And also, how are we supposed to know if we are going to like it if we haven’t read it yet? LOGIC fail.

        • cynicalsapphire

          FallenFeller I’m pretty sure we’ve never told people to only read books they like. You’re trying to draw a comparison between a novel and a book review, and they’re not the same thing whatsoever.

        • Steph Sinclair
          Twitter:

          FallenFeller If you were a regular of our site, you would know this feature isn’t just about books we’ve disliked. It’s called satire. But don’t let me stop you from showing your ignorance. It amuses me.

    • DenaiEdwards

      FallenFeller I have read the first three of these books, I will probably read the fourth for closure’s sake and I find this amusing. Clearly, you do not understand this, its meant as a satire. What does one person’s opinion affect you? If you do not enjoy this blog, then maybe you shouldn’t read it, being a troll to be a troll is just low. We respect that you enjoy the books, and you should respect that others do not.

  15. FallenFeller

    We agree it’s satire. What it’s a satire of is what we disagree on.

  16. FallenFeller

    Congratulations for not understanding that everything is subjective, including comments on blogs. The ol dish it out but can’t take it situation is quite common in these bitchfests.
    The only element of the Fallen phenomenon that borders on objectivity is its popular success.
    Again I say: Hate on, haters.

    • Steph Sinclair
      Twitter:

      FallenFeller Look, you’ve made your point. Fallen is widely successful and you disagree the the satirical break down of the book. GREAT. No one is “hating” on Lauren Kate’s success. No one is infringing on your right to love all things Fallen. Now either be respectful or leave before you get blocked.

    • Steph Sinclair
      Twitter:

      FallenFeller Look, you’ve made your point. Fallen is widely successful and you disagree the the satirical break down of the book. GREAT. No one is “hating” on Lauren Kate’s success. No one is infringing on your right to love all things Fallen. Now either be respectful or leave before you get blocked.

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