Welcome to In 10 Lines. Ever wanted to know what happens in a book, but couldn’t be assed reading it for yourself? Cuddlebuggery comes to the rescue with In 10 Lines. In 10 Lines we will tell you everything you need to know about the featured book so that you can cheerfully move on with your life, or choose to read it should your attention be piqued. So sit back, relax, and try not to clench as we proceed.
Today we’ll be reworking Fallen by Lauren Kate, a book so horribly, painfully bad that Kat thought she’d destroyed all memory of it, forever, from her mind. Apparently she failed though because she retained enough to do this post. So without further adieu, we present to you: Fallen by Lauren Kate in 10 Lines!
Lucy: Jeez it sucks starting a new school. Especially because I killed someone and all. Oh, wow, that guy over there is totally gorgeous! Forget about all the self flagellation I was doing! INSTA-CRUSH DIVE-IN!
Daniel: Fuck off. I don’t like you and there is absolutely nothing suspicious about my behaviour at all. I am not, for instance, a fallen angel.
Lucy: Your lips say no, but your eyes say yes.
Cam: No, his eyes definitely said no. And he is definitely not an angel. And I really like you for…reasons.
Lucy: Whatever, Cam. Hey, Daniel, can I stalk you anyway? Can I take your hastily retreating figure as a yes?!
Penny: Hi! I serve only an arbitrary purpose in this novel.
Lucy: Jeez, just do the one thing I need you for and die al- NOOOOOOOO!!!! You killed Penny! You bitch!
Bad guy: Meh, seemed like a good idea at the time. Now, lie down on the stone altar so I can kill you for… reasons.
Daniel: Seriously, Lucy. You just got on the altar because she told you to? You didn’t even fight back a little? Goddamnit! I guess I better save you now. Which I can do because I am totes an angel and we’re in love for…reasons.
Lucy: You know, I think I liked you better when you were calling me a stalker and telling me to piss off.