Shit I’m Sick of Reading Part 3

Image from Know Your Meme.

 In Young Adult lit, how you portray the male love interest is an important factor. Considering females make up the majority of YA readers, it’s a issue that has to be handled delicately with the utmost care and consideration.  Is he going to be the boy next door?  Is he going to be a jokester? Is he going to be the understanding type? Is he going to be the misunderstood bad boy?  How does he help shape the novel? Is he swoon worthy?

You can find some of the sweetest relationships in YA lit, which is one reason why I keep coming back to it over and over again. But every once in a while something goes terribly wrong. You have a love interest who completely monopolizes the heroine’s time and life, stalks the heroine, emotionally or even physically abuses her or is just an all around awful person to be attracted to. Unfortunately, that’s not even the worst of it. Those traits aren’t highlighted as things to avoid, but instead seen as romantic and the heroine is made out to be the bad guy if she denies him in any way.

It’s a trope that’s everywhere and needs to die in an angry fire. But, of course, there are some books that just do it worse than the rest of them. This isn’t an all-time list, but merely just a few YA books I’ve read recently that managed to sear a hole in my mind.

*Disclaimer: This post will contain spoilers of the books mentioned.

 

6 of the Worst Male YA Love Interests

 

6. Lucas (Starcrossed)

 On the surface it Lucas may appear to be great love interest. Helen adores him, they have sexual tension, playful banter and great chemistry. But dig a little deeper into their romance and you’d soon discover a few disturbing qualities. Actually, strike that. You don’t have to look that far when you have Helen saying things like this not even halfway through the novel:

“…she decided that if Lucas was gay then she was going to have to get a sex change operation. He would be so worth it.”

 Does anyone else see a problem with this line of thinking? We have a young girl who has become obsessed with a boy to the point where she has contemplated the possibilities of a life altering procedure just to have a shot at receiving his teenage affections? Seriously?! Moreover, this guy goes as far to jokingly reference domestic abuse as the excuse for her training bruises, countless times he makes Helen feel as though she is being used, and shows a possessive streak when a guy is seen just talking with Helen in school. Outside of their relationship he could be a great guy, but because he never truly shows respect for Helen and makes a few disturbing statements, he ends up on the list.

 

5. Shay (Wolfsbane)

What’s wrong with a guy determined to help the heroine break free from her society’s expectations and empower her to take control of her own destiny? Well, nothing. That’s actually pretty awesome. At least until the heroine starts to feel threatened or unsafe around him, that is.

“For a moment I thought he would shift forms and bite me.”

Shay seemed to be the perfect boy for Calla. He was considerate and appeared to have genuinely wanted Calla to have the ability to choose her future. But as soon as he later becomes a wolf, his personality shifts into an alpha male “Me big, strong man. You puny, weak woman.” There are times in the story where Calla does not speak her mind because she is worried about “Shay’s wrath.” He pressures her to have sex and gets semi-violent when she expresses feelings of indecision. Ladies, this is not okay. It can never be okay. If anyone feels as if they have to walk on eggshells so that they don’t set off their significant other, there is a problem. Do you see the potential there for victim blaming? Personal responsibility has to be taken into account and the heroine should not feel unsafe around a character who was written to be swooned over. 

 

4. Galen (Of Poseidon)

This one about burned me up inside.

“He scours his memory for a sweet-natured Syrena who would take care of him, who would do whatever he asked, who would never argue with him.”

Just what every woman is looking for! A big strong man to take away her freedom of speech, her opinions, to have someone to wait on hand and foot. What a catch! That’s just the kind of lifestyle I aspire to have! Do you feel the romance, ladies?!

Paradise!

Galen acted like women-kind were specifically put on earth to appease him. He constantly tries to squash Emma’s opinions and all around dislikes that she has opposing viewpoints. He likes to remain in control of what Emma does and where she goes even when she protests. He devalues her. To him, her opinion and desires means nothing unless it furthers his personal cause or makes him happy. In fact, Galen does not take any character with a set of ovaries seriously. But that is not how it’s portrayed in the book. Instead he’s “just being protective” or “he understands the situation better than the female.”  To make matters even worse, the treatment he gives his sister is just as bad. Rayna, who is trapped into an arranged marriage is shown no sympathy. She constantly denies the advances of her betrothed, insisting that she does not like him. But Galen does not believe her and tells her it’s because she hasn’t given him a chance. Because obviously women are so inferior we can’t possibly understand our own feelings. Thank goodness for men!

 

3. John (Abandon)

Abandon by Meg Cabot

There is no other better way to describing John’s attraction to Pierce other than saying creepy. If you think Jacob Black and Nessie’s imprint relationship was disturbing, then prepare to be shocked. John easily makes this list for reasons like stalking, kidnapping and being violent towards the heroine. He has a known past of being destructive and when the heroine seeks advice to get away from him, guess what she’s told?

“So if I might make a suggestion for all our sakes, why don’t you try”–his brown eyes were pleading–”just being a little sweeter to that boy?”

Somehow the tables are turned and Pierce is being accused of not being nice enough to him. As if his actions are her responsibility. There’s nothing like a bit a victim blaming to get the blood going in the morning. -_-

Then we find out the biggest kicker when it’s revealed John has been watching Pierce and been in love with her since she was seven years old.

So we have this psycho who is attracted to children, stalks her, kidnaps her all in the name of love. If this were a person in real life, you’d call the cops. But are any of these tendencies supposed to turn the reader off? Of course not! He’s le hottie! Duh.

2. Patch (Hush, Hush)

Speaking of psychos… Patch well deserves that label too. I think we are all familiar with this story and if you’re not… well… ignorance truly is bliss in this case. Patch considered one of the hottest love interest in YA these days. He’s known for being the tortured character who loves the girl whose death is to be his only salvation. (At least that’s what I remember from the story. It’s been a few years since I’ve read it and I’m trying desperately to purge it from my mind.) But no one seems to really talk about the real issue and how majority of the book he follows her around, scaring her, with the intention to kill her. Yet, what is the closing scene at the end of the novel? Nora and Patch making out.

 

1. Stalker (Enclave)

Enclave was one of the first Dystopian/Post Apocalyptic books I read after finishing The Hunger Games. At that time I was new to reviewing, new to being the YA addict that I am today and I hadn’t yet developed the strong opinions on books that I hold now. Basically, certain things just did not bother me. For me, it took reading several bad YA romances to wonder, “Why the hell are so many females treated like shit in these books?” And I think in a lot of ways, my anger at the love interest in Enclave stems from anger at myself for not seeing the problem with this book the very first time I read it. I gave this book 4 stars and later dropped it to 3. Truthfully, I’d like to drop it to one and erase the entire review, but I keep it to remind myself something: It really says something about our society when we are so brainwashed into being insensitive to the abuse of our own gender, that we try to rationalize it away or don’t even notice the mistreatment when it’s right in front of our eyes.

In Enclave there is a character named Tegan who suffers from rape and abuse for an extended period of time. She alludes to getting pregnant and losing the baby as well. This is because Stalker, who is leader of a gang of boys, allows it to happen. It is unclear if he himself ever raped her, but it is clear that Tegan blames him for her abuse. When circumstances place Tegan, Deuce, the heroine, Stalker and Fade, the main love interest, into a traveling group, she is told by Deuce to get over it. Let that sink in for a moment. The heroine tells a rape victim to get over it. Does Stalker apologize? Not that I remember, though it’s possible that he does in book 2 ( I haven’t read it). But as far as remorse, he had none, saying he did what he did to survive.

But again, that’s not even the worst of it. After that scene he becomes a love interest for Deuce. Why? Because Deuce finds his strength and ability to make “tough decisions” in the face of hard times attractive. She has very little sympathy for Tegan and finds her weak for allowing the abuse to happen in the first place. Victim blaming at its finest.

 

So to recap, we have stalkers, controlling men, men who wish to take the heroine’s rights away, men who have intentions on killing the heroine, pedophiles and even rapists/rapist supporters as love interests. These characters could have appeared in the stories as something the heroine rises up against, but instead this is who she loves. This is who is written to appeal to other young adult women. These are the guys that girls are swooning over. This… this is NOT okay. When will we all be sick of reading this shit?

Steph Sinclair is just your average bibliophile trying to make it through her never-ending To-Be-Read list. She is a co-blogger here at Cuddlebuggery and equal opportunity snarker and fangirl. Find her on GoodReads.


98 comments
DanicaPage
DanicaPage

I love this. Thanks for sharing this post. Definitely loved this. 

 

I haven't read several of these, but I agree with you on all the ones I have read.

Helen
Helen like.author.displayName 1 Like

Good grief. I can understand selective blindness for most of the entries, but number one? "Get over it"? Excuse me while I go and vomit.

Steph Sinclair
Steph Sinclair moderator

Yeah, very insensitive. The main character lost major cool points after that. I should probably mention that Stalker had also captured the MC and had planned on letting his gang rape and abuse her as well. But somehow he is attractive to her. I don't get it.

Helen
Helen

 @Stephanie Sinclair I know love is blind, but...is it really something you want in your book? Was it necessary to include the rape part at all? Was  it necessary that he has a part in it?

I could get it if author was going for the world where no one is good...but it's risky. Particularly in YA.  Look at fuss about ASOIAF, and it doesn't really have a primary protagonist to sympathize with.

And I just saw it got RITA Best YA Romance. Excuse me, I need to see a man about means of transport to Mars.

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Sangyupsal
Sangyupsal like.author.displayName 1 Like

I feel like some girls are sending such mixed messages to guys.  They demand equal rights as the men and not to be treated as subservient  yet they obsess over books like Fifty Shades of Grey.

 

Anyways, great article.  I'm glad you've written on this issue.

Minnie Miser
Minnie Miser like.author.displayName 1 Like

'Obsessing over a book' isn't a mixed message of any kind. It's just obsessing over a book. I haven't read Fifty Shades myself, but enjoying certain genres of fiction and certain types of fantasies has nothing to do with the reality of how you live your life. I'm a big fan of the Hunger Games books, but that doesn't mean I'd like to take part in the Hunger Games if the opportunity should arise, you know.

 

Of course, even those who prefer to be sexually subservient in real life DO deserve equal rights just as much as the rest of us, so I don't quite see what point you were trying to make in the first place.

Lisa  FicTalk
Lisa FicTalk like.author.displayName 1 Like

I agree with what you're saying, but there are people out there who would love fiction to become reality. They also would love to find men like Christian Grey for themselves. And there are people who gravitate to those sorts of messed up, unhealthy relationships who read books like Beautiful Disaster and FSoG and think that it's okay. To each his own, but being in an abusive relationship is NEVER okay.

 

I've seen this firsthand recently and I still cannot wrap my mind around it. How can physical and mental abuse be attractive? or appealing?

 

Keep in mind here, I'm not disagreeing with all that you said, but I also see where @sangyupsal is saying too. You both have valid points.

Minnie Miser
Minnie Miser

@Lisa FicTalk@sangyupsal Oh, absolutely, Lisa. But like I said - even those people do deserve the same basic rights as the rest of us, no matter how misguided and dysfunctional their romantic lives. (And of course, those people also have the right to change their minds later on. If they've 'chosen' out of their own free will to get into an abusive relationship, they might (hopefully) want to get out of it one day. In that, they should be supported and encouraged, as we'll probably agree.)

 

Women, as a collective group, deserve equal rights by virtue of being human: that shouldn't be something you have to qualify for by being perfectly consistent at all times or by denouncing certain types of fiction. Among that vast collective group, you're going to find some women who don't even want equality in their lives, but that doesn't invalidate the case for equal rights.

 

That's why I didn't understand the 'mixed messages to guys' part. I actually agree that many girls and women internalise cultural mixed messages and keep perpetuating them to themselves and to each other, so it isn't really the 'mixed messages' part that I objected to. It was the 'to guys' part. Men shouldn't be taking cues on the issue of women's equality from individual women's reading habits and private fantasies. They shouldn't be wondering whether women 'really' want equality or not, or whether they're too inconsistent to deserve equality. That misses the very point of equality by a mile.

 

(Apologies to Sangyupsal if that wasn't what you meant at all - but I felt that this was an important distinction to make!)

 

For the record, I'm in no way 'defending' books like Fifty Shades as I personally find the phenomenon disturbing. Sadomasochistic relationships are a huge grey area for me: it isn't really any of my business what people do (consensually) in the privacy of their bedrooms, and it isn't any of my business to tell people what to read, either. But like you, Lisa, I just can't bring myself to condone abusive relationships in any shape or form, and I don't like the way they're being normalised and romanticised in mainstream fiction.

GinmarRienne
GinmarRienne

Huh?  Sounds like blaming the victim to me. 

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cynicalsapphire
cynicalsapphire like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

I agree with you on Shay one hundred percent. In the first book, I sort of liked them, although they were a bit gross and instalovey. In the second one, I shifted allegiance to Ren, because, though he started out as a douchebag, it seemed like the worse Shay got, the nicer he got.

 

Fuck Galen. (Not in the euphemism sense) He and his serial killer eyes can travel back to the 1950s or join some religious cult to find the perfect, obedient woman. What really bothers me about that is how many blog posts I saw talking about what a swoon-worthy guy he was. One blogger even wanted to marry him. THE FUCK.

 

I don't remember Abandon at all, but I do remember that it was creepy, and probably the worst thing Meg Cabot has ever written. Despite how pretty the cover for the second book is, I can't.

 

 

hikarinotenshi93
hikarinotenshi93 like.author.displayName 1 Like

I have another one for your list - Noah from Temptation by Karen Ann Hopkins. He constantly strategizes how to manipulate Rose to do his bidding, thinks of her as a child and basically treat her like his possession. And of course, Rose returns it by apologising after every quarrel no matter who's at fault. 

 

Sometimes I wonder why I still read YA.... 

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readingwishes
readingwishes like.author.displayName 1 Like

Heck yeah!

 

Woah, these boys are crazy. I haven't met most of them (thank goodness) but I do read the Hush, Hush series. I'm with Sarah on this, those books ARE like crack...

 

Ooh, ooh! Travis from Beautiful Disaster could get an honorable mention also.

Steph Sinclair
Steph Sinclair moderator

 @readingwishes I haven't read Beautiful Disaster, but I have seen enough reviews to have an idea of that train wreck of a relationship. 

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mimosastimulus
mimosastimulus like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

There aren't many things that bother me more than THIS RIGHT HERE in YA books. It seems like it is particularly prevalent in paranormal romance type books. I could maybe deal with it if it had the purpose of commentary nature vs. nuture and animal instincts vs. humanity or whatever, but it never does. And there are never negative consequences. Just once, I'd kinda like to see the heroine get eaten alive by one of these assholes

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Sarah  saz101
Sarah saz101 like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

Oh THANK YOU.

 

Patch is the creepiest thing about the Hush, Hush series. Not the Nephilim menace, not the fallen angels, not the anything else but the 'HEY BABY, I KNOW I JUST MET YOU, BUT I'MA MURDER YOU, MAYBE.'

*shudders*

And... ugh, I hate myself for it, but I keep coming back to these books. They're like crack -___-

Can I just say that Cole Holland from Alice in Zombieland deserves and honorable mention here?

Steph Sinclair
Steph Sinclair moderator

LOL! Well, I did read up to book 4 for House of Night, so yeah. hahaha. 

 

And the thing about AiZ is that it will probable sell like hotcakes.

Sarah  saz101
Sarah saz101

 @Stephanie Sinclair Ahahaha! I haven't ready ANY House of Night books, but... uh... well, yeah. I'm sure I've read worse.

 

And AiZ. UGH. YES. And I can even kind of understand why, which is just *shudders8

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Neyra
Neyra like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

OMG HOW COULD YOU SAY SUCH CRUEL MEAN WORDS ABOUT PATCH!! JUST.. HOW DARE YOU STEPHANIE!!! UNSUBSCRIBING NOW!! D:<

 

xD Kidding of course, I love your blog too much! LOL..  I've only read Abandon & Hush Hush out of all of these books, and i do find the heroes attractive, but by no means do I tolerate their actions. it's just stupidity. But like you, when I first started reading, I didn't realize how bad the heroine was being mistreated, until i read about kick-ass heroines like Penryn & Yukiko who will take shit from no man >.< It's sad, and i'm hoping this Me-man-you-woman-I-bark-you-obey BS is tossed out the window and we're given actual heroines w/ backbone. 

 

And damn, I was gonna read Enclave, but oh hell... the heroine blaming a rape victim.. i might just put this on my bonfire pile of books Smh!

Senator
Senator like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

Ohmygosh YES. Thank you thank you thank you! This trend has been bugging me for a while. Bravo for writing about it!

Mary BookSwarm
Mary BookSwarm like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

So why is it there are so many controlling, domineering guys in YA? And so many victims in the girls? I hate it. We need strong girls and strong guys--not alpha, per se, just confident people who don't play victim to anyone.

rocapri
rocapri like.author.displayName 1 Like

i know right . shay shay i hate him . i hate himmmmm

Lisa  FicTalk
Lisa FicTalk like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

Um, whert? And to think I was thinking about starting Enclave... at some point. I despise people who downplay frigging rape!! Especially another woman who should be more than sympathetic to another woman who has been through such a despicable ordeal.

 

Ugh, I'm all rage-y now. *shakes fist*

 

Very good list you've compiled here, Steph.

Steph Sinclair
Steph Sinclair moderator

 @Lisa FicTalk Thanks, Lisa. Deuce just thought she was weak. *sigh* Deuce was captured by the same gang of boys and would have suffered the same fate, but she managed to escape. This apparently gave her a license to judge and shame Tegan. SMH.

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Lexie
Lexie like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

I agree with everything you've said in this post.  Frankly, the fact that this post is attracting trolls is ridiculous.  The concept of females deserving more than men who stalk, abuse, rape, and want to kill them is nothing radical.  It's basic morality.  

Steph Sinclair
Steph Sinclair moderator

Or if you're going to portray those kinds of relationships, don't glamorize or romanticize it!

Stephanie Parent
Stephanie Parent like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

Great post! I DESPISE Galen and Stalker SO MUCH! I still haven't gotten around to reading Hush Hush, but I'm going to because it's hard for me to believe a book could be more sexist than Of Poseidon, but apparently this one is.

 

I actually just read an older YA, The Wind Blows Backward by Mary Downing Hahn, that I think deals with this issue really well.  The love interest in that story is disturbed, dangerous, but still extremely appealing...but the author and the female lead acknowledge this.  There's a real reason behind the love interest's behavior, and he's trying to overcome it by the end of the novel, but it's still just a hopeful ending rather than a ridiculous HEA.

Steph Sinclair
Steph Sinclair moderator

Thanks! And I don't know, Of Poseidon is probably more sexist than Hush, Hush. It was that bad. : /

 

Manda
Manda like.author.displayName 1 Like

Oh man, The Wind Blows Backwards was like my favourite book as a teenager. LOVED it. And yes, much *much* better way of dealing with the tormented bad boy!

Stephanie Parent
Stephanie Parent like.author.displayName 1 Like

I read it as a teen too, but I think I was slightly too young--I was 13 or maybe even 12?--so I got more out of it this time.  It's surprising how well it holds up over time, too--feels very modern, and I think a lot of today's teens would like it.

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EMaree
EMaree like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 5 Like

I think a lot of the negative commentors are missing the key thing here: abusive, messed-up behavior is interesting to read **if it's portrayed honestly as unhealthy behavior**. This blog post is calling out books who try to pretend violent, threatening behavior is normal. That's never OK, especially when your audience is young and easily impressionable.

Fangs4Fantasy
Fangs4Fantasy like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 4 Like

 @EMaree  This. By all means display any kind of evil, unhealthy, poisonous relationship or character. But don't romanticise them, don't say they're wonderful and shiny, don't hold them up as paragons of love and romance. Don't present them as something to want or aspire to

LenaMarsteller
LenaMarsteller like.author.displayName 1 Like

 @Fangs4Fantasy  @EMaree  True to that!! Do not think these novels are true examples of love....

Fangs4Fantasy
Fangs4Fantasy like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

 @LenaMarsteller  @EMaree They don't have to be true examples to present an ideal, and idea, a trope and a societal archetype.

 

We are shaped by our culture, by our media - they shape our dreams, our ideals, and the ever echoing announcement of what we "should" want or aspire to. And the problem here isn't one example, or 10 - it's the fact that the message of these highly abusive relationships AS IDEAL is presented over and over again with precious little challenge - even, as we see here, a resistance to challenge

Steph Sinclair
Steph Sinclair moderator like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

 @EMaree Exactly. There are other books that have love interests that do not treat them well in them, but the MC sees there is a problem. That is the key. 

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AnimeGirlAlex
AnimeGirlAlex like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

Gotta love this post!!

I do wish people would take the Bad Romance thing seriously *Shakes head* I hate that "ideal romance" is so often portrayed as obsession and stalker-behavior. 

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Complainathon
Complainathon

My only consolation as I depart this disturbing blog, is that all the books you dismiss with the sweeping contempt of people who do NOT write fiction for a living are best sellers. So the teenagers you want to protect so much don't listen to you. Enjoy your PC party. I'm outie. 

GinmarRienne
GinmarRienne

That's the third use of PC as some contemptuous dismissal. No wonder he or she finds the dismissal and cruelty to heroines as exciting.  That's what she or he is doing to anyone who rejects his or her feeling that abuse is not abuse, but romantic. 

Kara_M
Kara_M like.author.displayName 1 Like

I called it from your first comment. Anonymous troll commenter. Calling this a disturbing blog? You just proved me right. 

Steph Sinclair
Steph Sinclair moderator like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

Fifty Shades of Grey is a best-seller. Does that make it a great book? 

 

Disturbing blog? Nice. I do not think I have insulted you, Complainathon. You opinion is welcome here even if we disagree.   

KD
KD like.author.displayName 1 Like

So because teenagers don't always listen, we shouldn't even try? Ok people: beer, smokes and drugs for everyone underage!

 

If you don't speak out about injustice in any form, pretty soon injustice becomes the society standard.

 

Just because you make money off a thing doesn't make it right. If it did, overt slavery would be rampant. 

Kara_M
Kara_M like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

Hey, look! There's a troll beneath me. Is anyone surprised? Not me. Whatever...

 

Anyway, Steph, this is pretty much the exact way I feel about Enclave. You are right on when you say it is so normal in society for that to be okay that we don't even question it anymore. Luckily my tastes have changed and I was able to go back and realize how wrong it truly was. And I don't even REMEMBER Deuce telling Tegan to get over it. That's...APPALLING! Oh my god. 

 

I left my original review too. But I wrote about all the problems I had with that book and Outpost in my review of the latter book. And guess what? I got trolls on that too. *rolls eyes* You are right, Complainathon, it is fiction. But books shape lives. Teen lives. And for that, I think it's important to get it RIGHT and not have a potential RAPIST be portrayed in a positive light. Give me a break. You cannot compare that to the examples you have provided. It's like comparing apples to oranges. Your argument stinks.

 

Also, something else about the books that you mentioned? They were ADULT books. We are talking about YA fiction. Yeah...

Complainathon
Complainathon

 @Kara_M Newsflash: Everyone who disagrees with you in the world? Is not a troll. There are trolls, yes. But I am not one. I simply in a human being with an opinion that is not the same as yours. 

Kara_M
Kara_M like.author.displayName 1 Like

Also, what is with the anonymous commenting? There's another big clue.

Kara_M
Kara_M like.author.displayName 1 Like

When you keep coming back to argue the same point over and over, and it seems to me, trying to start an argument, you get that label. I simply am a human being with an opinion that is not the same a yours. ;)

Kara_M
Kara_M like.author.displayName 1 Like

Oh yes. You are so much smarter than I am. *snerk*

Kara_M
Kara_M like.author.displayName 1 Like

Yeah....okay. More like hide behind your computer. I get it. Notice how everyone here is debating with you and NOT hiding behind an anonymous screen name. Something to think about. You Could come to my house and scare my dog. I'm still not anonymous.

Complainathon
Complainathon

 @Kara_M You called me a troll. Which was mean and petty. I just wanted to point out that I'm not one. And I'm anonymous because I don't want you to come to my house and scare my cat. It's a thing. 

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