Welcome to In 10 Lines. Ever wanted to know what happens in a book, but couldn’t be assed reading it for yourself? Cuddlebuggery comes to the rescue with In 10 Lines. In 10 Lines we will tell you everything you need to know about the featured book so that you can cheerfully move on with your life, or choose to read it should your attention be piqued. So sit back, relax, and try not to clench as we proceed.
Today we’ll be reworking Fallen by Lauren Kate, a book so horribly, painfully bad that Kat thought she’d destroyed all memory of it, forever, from her mind. Apparently she failed though because she retained enough to do this post. So without further adieu, we present to you: Fallen by Lauren Kate in 10 Lines!
Lucy: Jeez it sucks starting a new school. Especially because I killed someone and all. Oh, wow, that guy over there is totally gorgeous! Forget about all the self flagellation I was doing! INSTA-CRUSH DIVE-IN!
Daniel: Fuck off. I don’t like you and there is absolutely nothing suspicious about my behaviour at all. I am not, for instance, a fallen angel.
Lucy: Your lips say no, but your eyes say yes.
Cam: No, his eyes definitely said no. And he is definitely not an angel. And I really like you for…reasons.
Lucy: Whatever, Cam. Hey, Daniel, can I stalk you anyway? Can I take your hastily retreating figure as a yes?!
Penny: Hi! I serve only an arbitrary purpose in this novel.
Lucy: Jeez, just do the one thing I need you for and die al- NOOOOOOOO!!!! You killed Penny! You bitch!
Bad guy: Meh, seemed like a good idea at the time. Now, lie down on the stone altar so I can kill you for… reasons.
Daniel: Seriously, Lucy. You just got on the altar because she told you to? You didn’t even fight back a little? Goddamnit! I guess I better save you now. Which I can do because I am totes an angel and we’re in love for…reasons.
Lucy: You know, I think I liked you better when you were calling me a stalker and telling me to piss off.
The End.
stinalindenblatt
Yep, that pretty much sums it up. 😀
booktasty
OH I SO AGREE! I wasted so much time on this book! I kept thinking “this is bad. Why am I reading this? I should stop this”. But then 5 chapters later I’d still be reading and struggling with the same thoughts…In the end I finished it. I want those hours of my life back.
Neyra
hahaha, yeah… that covers it xD
Jackie Farrow
This makes me glad that I didn’t give into my friend when she went all “ERMAHGERD YOU HAVE TO READ IT”. Dodged a bullet there :’) But still I might ask to read it, only to see if it’s as bad as everyone else on here thinks it is.
starsaloft
Ahaha, love it! I got about 30ish pages into this book before it hit the DNF pile (which I almost never do). Just too much Instalove and nonsense for me. But then I read Unearthly and discovered that angel books CAN, in fact, be awesome.
Fangs4Fantasy
Fallen! Aaaargh, there’ goes 3 months of therapy to forget that book (and by 3 months of therapy, I mean 3 bottles of rum. Not counting what i drank to read the WHOLE SERIES *whimper*)
I’m impressed you got 10 lines out of it – after all that requires 10 lines of stuff happening in this AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL book
Steph
I think this was the most accurate review I’ve read of this book. I admit, I liked it in the beginning…it intrigued me. Or maybe I had just read that crap with pacth and Nora and thought that anything could be better than that.
I. Was. Wrong.
But when she invited everyone over for Thanksgiving dinner without telling her mom and then decides THAT’s the best moment to dissappear without explanation, I flounced. No thanks angels.
pinkindle
Yep, that’s basically it (although her name is Luce, not like it matters though). This book was so bad, but one day I’m going to pick up the next one, in hopes that it gets better. The covers are so pretty and tempting. 🙁
AjManik1
Read this series last year, I liked it a lot!! But you more or less nailed it!! I love the way you sneak Doctor Who in!!! I love that show!! Even the old ones i watched as a kid!! So happy new shows are out!!!
Aj
Sugar & Snark
Hahahahah love this! Never read the book, but I feel like I have now 🙂
a_tiffyfit
LOL These have to be the best blog posts EVER. All these books that sounded great, I’m now moving to the bottom of my TBR. Maybe for beach reading. I love these posts!
InkyReads
I love it! Taking a book and breaking it down like that in a snarky hilarious way. You pretty much got it too. Haha. Can’t say I ever really loved these books, but looking back at it this way I can only laugh and wonder if it was ever worth it. O.O
–Inky 😀
skwigent
I love these! They’re hilarious and, sadly, quite accurate. I particularly dislike this series. I kept reading it thinking it was going to get better, but it never did. The explanation for the whole thing was…lacking. I can’t really think of a better descriptor, but I’m sure you know what I mean.
Roselyn
I had to put this book down halfway – it was so bad. I love these posts!
MaijaSteinbrika
This one is great! To bring it down like that, hilarious!
I can’t believe I atempted to read the second book, which was just as bad, if not worse. You could do 10 lines on it, too.
MaijaSteinbrika
This one is great! To bring it down like that, hilarious!
I can’t believe I atempted to read the second book, which was just as bad, if not worse. You could do 10 lines on it, too.
DenaiEdwards
Don’t judge me for knowing this, but her name is Luce, short for Lucinda (one of the downfalls of remembering most details in books is that you remember the bad ones).
ar1anna
yep.. you got it right =))
FallenFeller
I can break this entire, bitter site down into one phrase:
“…aspiring author in the Young Adult genre.”
Steph Sinclair
FallenFeller Says the person who clearly hasn’t read this entire site.
cynicalsapphire
Steph Sinclair FallenFeller I can break this entire, bitter comment down into one phrase:
“unable to comprehend the difference between subjective and objective opinions”
Don’t like the site, don’t read it. There are plenty of fangirls to play with elsewhere.
FallenFeller
@cynicalsapphire @Steph Sinclair FallenFeller
Sigh. Might one say to the aspiring YA author, “Jealous of a wildly successful series? Don’t hate on it.”
Are you suggesting our aspiring YA author is objective? If so, she is the only person who is.
cynicalsapphire
FallenFeller Congratulations, you have completely misunderstood. Opinions on literature are subjective. You loved Fallen and that’s valid. Kat didn’t, and that’s valid too.
Besides, this feature is done only in fun. She’s covered books she likes as well as ones she doesn’t.
FallenFeller
@Steph Sinclair FallenFeller
Not really reading things seems to be de rigeur for this site…”Lucy”…
Kara_M
FallenFeller Awwwww. What a sad, sad life you must lead to have to troll blog posts on blogs you don’t like. You should try reading a blog you DO like. Your mood would be much improved. Also, If you are a fangirl of this book, you hvae shit taste in literature.
FallenFeller
@Kara_M FallenFeller
And what would all of your thoroughly fulfilled women do with your lives if you took your own advice and only read books you liked? How would you ever get your requisite hating in?
Kara_M
FallenFeller My own advice? I don’t believe I gave you any advice other than quit commenting on blogs you don’t like and walk away. It’s kind of pathetic.
And also, how are we supposed to know if we are going to like it if we haven’t read it yet? LOGIC fail.
Steph Sinclair
Kara_M FallenFeller I’m afraid logic isn’t a strong point of his today.
Steph Sinclair
Kara_M FallenFeller I’m afraid logic isn’t a strong point of his today.
cynicalsapphire
FallenFeller I’m pretty sure we’ve never told people to only read books they like. You’re trying to draw a comparison between a novel and a book review, and they’re not the same thing whatsoever.
Steph Sinclair
FallenFeller If you were a regular of our site, you would know this feature isn’t just about books we’ve disliked. It’s called satire. But don’t let me stop you from showing your ignorance. It amuses me.
FallenFeller
Just hate on, sisters.
DenaiEdwards
FallenFeller I have read the first three of these books, I will probably read the fourth for closure’s sake and I find this amusing. Clearly, you do not understand this, its meant as a satire. What does one person’s opinion affect you? If you do not enjoy this blog, then maybe you shouldn’t read it, being a troll to be a troll is just low. We respect that you enjoy the books, and you should respect that others do not.
veela_valoom
Hilarious as always ladies.
Patricia
… This was perfect.
FallenFeller
We agree it’s satire. What it’s a satire of is what we disagree on.
FallenFeller
Congratulations for not understanding that everything is subjective, including comments on blogs. The ol dish it out but can’t take it situation is quite common in these bitchfests.
The only element of the Fallen phenomenon that borders on objectivity is its popular success.
Again I say: Hate on, haters.
Steph Sinclair
FallenFeller Look, you’ve made your point. Fallen is widely successful and you disagree the the satirical break down of the book. GREAT. No one is “hating” on Lauren Kate’s success. No one is infringing on your right to love all things Fallen. Now either be respectful or leave before you get blocked.
Steph Sinclair
FallenFeller Look, you’ve made your point. Fallen is widely successful and you disagree the the satirical break down of the book. GREAT. No one is “hating” on Lauren Kate’s success. No one is infringing on your right to love all things Fallen. Now either be respectful or leave before you get blocked.