From the masters that brought you the name Cuddlebuggery, comes a post so epic, you’ll wet your pants. Kat Kennedy, the mastermind that named her blog after dry humping, will give you all the life advice you need to name your blog something awesome.
1. Drink half a gallon of your favourite alcohol.
You have to get in the right frame of mind to name something. And usually that frame is pretty much being out of your mind. Totally random and ready to name your blog anything brilliant that makes you laugh. Even if it’s complete gibberish or a made up word. Or even better, something a little bit RUDE. The point is that if you’re going to make a longterm decision that is going to help determine your success, being totally blotto is certainly the best way to start.
2. Pick a Name
This is the easy bit. What we did here at cuddlebuggery was take two random words and smooched them together like some kind of freaky Frankenstinean creation. IT LIVES! IT LIVEESSSSS! Sure we’ve had our share of complaints which mostly boil down to:
And if you too want to receive multiple emails begging you to change your name out of common decency, then please step forward and follow this easy-to-use guide.
Take a word that’s borderline rude and mix it with a word that’s cute. Like take the words ‘wank’ and ‘tickle’. Then you just add some kind of suffix to it to tie it all together.
Perfect. See? The formula works.
Knob + sweet = Sweetknobbery.
You can’t fail to create something amazing!*
*Note does not work with racial slurs or ableist diatribe.
3. Convince any and all cobloggers to run with it.
You’ve had the inspiration. You’ve picked the perfect name. Now to run it past your cobloggers for their approval. And by approval, I mean, bully them. Twist their arms, nipple cripple them, burn them with lighters until they give in and go with your widely inappropriate name.
Just remember, this is not a democracy. It’s the United States of You, damn it! Don’t be afraid to pull your cobloggers into line through any vindictive, childish, horrible means necessary. This won’t, at all, lead to your downfall. Pinky promise.
4. GOOGLE it
I can’t express how important this step is. Google the name to make sure another blog hasn’t taken it. Nothing is worse than wearing the same blog name as someone else. Or having a blog name that’s too close. It’s not worth it. IT’S NOT WORTH THE HUMILIATION, ALRIGHT?!
5. Brand It
How is it going to look on your page? How are you going to represent the name? Once you decide that, put it everywhere! Attach it to everything. Emails, email addresses, letter heads, business chards. Shove it in people’s faces until they cry and weep on the ground and beg you to stop. Know your blog name better than you know yourself. BE THE BLOG.
6. Own It
Look your blog right in its beady little eyes. Lean forward with your hand outstretched and touch its nose. No wait. That’s how to train a dragon…
Once you have your name, own it. Don’t be embarrassed by it. Don’t suffer regret or shame. Doubt not or ye be doubted. Pretty sure that’s a saying. Steph: No, it’s not. Well, whatever. The point is to commune spiritually with your blogname until you and it are two souls in one body. Two EVIL souls. Be your name until people can’t associate you with anything else.
7. Call on the Elder Gods to Bless it
No ritual is complete without calling on the dark forces to come and bless it with their dark powers. And by bless, we mean curse. But still. It’s tradition and we here at Cuddlebuggery are all about tradition. Obviously.