You did it. You went out and bought that book, hoping it would be great. Guess what? It’s not. It was terrible and now it’s just sitting there, taking up space on your shelf. Your library and secondhand book shop won’t take it (they know better) you can’t seem to offload it to any of your friends and you can’t bring yourself to destroy it. We’re here to help.
1. Free to a good home?
This method is for those at least hoping that some good will come of random regifting. Hopefully these books could possibly bring someone the joy they so adamantly failed to give you.
2. A household shrine to ward off poor decision making
You made the bad decision and now you’re ready to deal with it. But you don’t want to make such a bad book purchasing decision again. Desperate to ward off the spirits of poor decision making, you build a shrine out of the books to keep them away. Not even those dodgy spirits want to be near their fetid pages.
3. Bathroom stool for young children
You don’t care if they piss all over it. You’ve stopped caring all together. CURSE THESE BOOKS WHY DID YOU BUY THEM?
4. Gift it to people you don’t like
It’s a last ditch effort to get rid of this book. You’re hoping the recipient will be too shocked to give it back before you make your escape. It’s the gift that keeps on saying, “Fuck you! I never liked you anyway!” Perfect for at least 30% of people you know.
5. Throw it at children who run on your lawn (Try to look as demonic as possible)
These books are your curse. There is no getting rid of them. Time to turn them into a tool to vent your horror and frustration at the world. What better victims than the little brats it was written for?