So I stopped and thought to myself, what am I sick of reading right now? I came up with about six different ideas. But that’s a lot of work, yo. Instead I wrote three of them. These are generalised. I am in no way referring to any one book or trying to call any authors out. I kind of just went with my gut and let the bile pour out. Which, technically speaking, is far more likely to happen than any kind of justified intuition. Guts aren’t very good for making rational decisions. Just saying. So sit back and enjoy these three books I am currently sick of reading, reading about, hearing about, thinking about, maybe dreamed and don’t even exist.
1. Unlimited by Randy McRanderson
A book of emotions so epic that it gets a generic, one word title. The Retold story of a girl suffering through the trial of having to pick between two really hot guys. How will Emerald DeAmericana possibly survive her heartrending tale of forbidden love, and even more forbidden love with two completely different boys. How will this one choice define her as a character in ways that we don’t generally define males in literature. Read this book, and be bored out of your mind by the melodrama! Experience the love, the loss, but mostly a lot of illicit smooches.
Image belongs to: MarcoRibbe-de
2. No Looking Back by Genius ReWritingski
One girl. One apocalypse. One story we’ve read at least five times based on the one time it was a pretty good book. With a title that reminds you that you’re a privileged shithead who doesn’t appreciate what you’ve got until its gone, just like the protagonist, Esmerelda Survivalpants. Don’t miss out on the chance to read a boring book that’s supposed to feature an apocalypse but instead focuses almost entirely on the love story. There will probably be two. Take a journey that could be told in one novel then drag it out into three. Esmerelda Survivalpants was just your average girl until an apocalypse brought her and Boringface Ficklefer together. Surviving the wilderness is okay because nothing really happens, but can they survive each other?! (Spoiler: yes, but you won’t.) Explore new worlds all based on a reimagining of Mad Max because it seems we’re all out of ideas. Embrace a love that can only be tamed by wilderness and poor hygiene and was never that compelling to begin with if we stop and be honest with ourselves.
Image belongs to: YuuGray
3. Snow White: The Again-aning by Career Revivalstein
From an acclaimed children’s author who usually has great ideas, revisit the popular children’s tale that’s so rapey, people trip over themselves to retell it. Romance is in the air when Dead Girl tropes meet Girl in Freezer trope meets even more chances to capitalise on childhood nostalgia. Count how many ways the same story can be upcycled and merged with tired old elements in an attempt to create something people will consider reading. There is no stopping this love. Because she’s asleep. She can’t. Gloss over the disturbing elements of that narrative for yourself in Snow White: The Again-aning.