Three Books I’m Sick of Reading

22 March, 2014 Musing Musers, Random 52 comments

So I stopped and thought to myself, what am I sick of reading right now? I came up with about six different ideas. But that’s a lot of work, yo. Instead I wrote three of them. These are generalised. I am in no way referring to any one book or trying to call any authors out. I kind of just went with my gut and let the bile pour out. Which, technically speaking, is far more likely to happen than any kind of justified intuition. Guts aren’t very good for making rational decisions. Just saying. So sit back and enjoy these three books I am currently sick of reading, reading about, hearing about, thinking about, maybe dreamed and don’t even exist.

sick-of-reading1

Images belong to: Futuresnowno1, Nelieke

1. Unlimited by Randy McRanderson

A book of emotions so epic that it gets a generic, one word title. The Retold story of a girl suffering through the trial of having to pick between two really hot guys. How will Emerald DeAmericana possibly survive her heartrending tale of forbidden love, and even more forbidden love with two completely different boys. How will this one choice define her as a character in ways that we don’t generally define males in literature. Read this book, and be bored out of your mind by the melodrama! Experience the love, the loss, but mostly a lot of illicit smooches.

Sick-of-reading-2

Image belongs to: MarcoRibbe-de

2. No Looking Back by Genius ReWritingski

One girl. One apocalypse. One story we’ve read at least five times based on the one time it was a pretty good book. With a title that reminds you that you’re a privileged shithead who doesn’t appreciate what you’ve got until its gone, just like the protagonist, Esmerelda Survivalpants. Don’t miss out on the chance to read a boring book that’s supposed to feature an apocalypse but instead focuses almost entirely on the love story. There will probably be two. Take a journey that could be told in one novel then drag it out into three. Esmerelda Survivalpants was just your average girl until an apocalypse brought her and Boringface Ficklefer together. Surviving the wilderness is okay because nothing really happens, but can they survive each other?! (Spoiler: yes, but you won’t.) Explore new worlds all based on a reimagining of Mad Max because it seems we’re all out of ideas. Embrace a love that can only be tamed by wilderness and poor hygiene and was never that compelling to begin with if we stop and be honest with ourselves.

sick-of-reading-3

Image belongs to: YuuGray

3. Snow White: The Again-aning by Career Revivalstein

From an acclaimed children’s author who usually has great ideas, revisit the popular children’s tale that’s so rapey, people trip over themselves to retell it. Romance is in the air when Dead Girl tropes meet Girl in Freezer trope meets even more chances to capitalise on childhood nostalgia. Count how many ways the same story can be upcycled and merged with tired old elements in an attempt to create something people will consider reading. There is no stopping this love. Because she’s asleep. She can’t. Gloss over the disturbing elements of that narrative for yourself in Snow White: The Again-aning.

 

52 Responses to “Three Books I’m Sick of Reading”

  1. Goldie

    So funny, again! Where do you get yoyr ideas, Kat?! Haha I agree, especially with number 3!

    • Kat Kennedy

      I have liked them in the past, I’m just sick of them coming along, being all annoying with their constant stream of retelling.

  6. Kaniesha @ Deux Lectrices

    I don’t even mess with #1 books anymore, I stopped reading them when I got about 50 pages into Fallen(?) I can’t remember the title but it was hella boring.

    LOL’d at “but can they survive each other?!”

    I don’t come across too many retellings though so I’m out of the loop for #3.

  7. Kate Copeseeley

    I’m surprised that you only came up with 6!!! The first one is so true for me right now. (Won’t say which book I’m struggling through, but it’s in my currently reading if you’re curious).

    You NEED to do one of these for the fantasy/pnr girl that is all-powerful. Like now.

    BTW- Those covers are freaking brilliant. As usual. 🙂

  8. Fangs 4 the Fantasy (@Fangs4Fantasy)

    Depressingly, I agree with every word – love triangles! MELODRAMA, BILLOWY DRESSES!

    And the world has ended? BUT ARE THE BOYS HOT? ARE THEY? THIS IS WHAT IS IMPORTANT!

    And reimagined fairy tales are great – but why why why why is it ALWAYS Snow White? 8 bazillion fairy tales out there and it is ALWAYS SNOW WHITE

  10. Rashika

    HOW DARE YOU INSULT BORINGFACE FICKLEFER?
    HE IS HOT.
    and when the world is ending, that is ALL that matters. Who cares about surviving when you get to shack up with a hot dude?

    Also.
    Choosing between two guys is the most hardest thing in the world and leading them on is the way to go.

    • Kat Kennedy

      It’s true. Having to choose between two hot, devoted guys is a painful, agonising experience that must be recorded again and again.

  11. Zarah

    Nope. I have NO idea what you’re writing about. No. Idea. At. All.
    But I lie a lot! 😉

    Loved this. And THAT is tre truth.

  13. de Pizan

    In #2, don’t forget the girl’s obsession over whether or not she’s actually pretty enough to live, let alone to win a guy’s second glance (such as Pure or Birthmarked). Or how she’ll stop in the middle of a fight, finding much needed supplies, etc to hyperventilate about his beautiful face, abs or shoulders. Because when you are literally on the losing edge of survival, beauty is what it’s really about.

    • Kat Kennedy

      Yes! Let’s obsess about looks when the world is ending! That’s kind of why How I Live Now was good – because she started to ignore her compulsive self esteem issues.

  15. Lindsey

    Bahahahah ahhhh, thanks for the laugh! Ever since reading Fallen by Lauren Kate I don’t touch books with a girls on the cover clad in a billowing dress. They have been deemed officially untrustworthy!

  16. Mel@thedailyprophecy

    Being someone who really likes fairy tales and retellings, I don’t mind number 3 that much 😉 But the first one, ugh. I’m getting tired of the same old stories with 2 hot guys, 1 girl and a story that could have been amazing if it wasn’t about the romance all the time.

  17. Eileen @ Singing and Reading in the Rain

    Hahahahahaha omg I love these!! And I so agree, like you have such a huge opportunity to capitalize on a great, creative idea, but then no, you start focusing mainly on the romance and everything goes to shit. It’s such a downer! And that last one was perfect, the amount of retelling books that have popped up recently (and also the amount of movies with Snow White and the Huntsman, Mirror Mirror, etc.) have made me almost hate the entire kind of thing. Fantastic post! <33

  18. sammy

    I think this summarizes are why I am seeing so many articles pop up lately along the lines of is “YA dying?” Well, no its not. But I do like to think that it is slowly weeding itself out of all the cookie cutter books.

  20. Cayce

    Lol, these are absolutely spot on!! And I’m SO sick of seeing these kind of books but they are everywhere. Especially #3.

  21. Lyn Kaye

    I read it this morning, but now, after I have stopped laughing, I have to say that this speaks to the hearts of all of the readers. While I laughed, I also nodded and felt a certain irritation growing when I read this, because it is so true. Wonderful post, Kat!

  22. Joy @ Thoughts By J

    HA! So brilliantly spot on Kat. Yes, let’s forget about survival altogether and just pine over the first boy you meet. Who cares if he’s a serial killer just escaped from prison, he’s hot!

  23. Katie McCue

    Theres are so wonderful and hilarious! Number 1 is definitely my favourite there are so many books exactly like that everywhere now. I hate the dresses the most I like. Who casually wears a ball gown! Thanks for the great post.

  24. Cathy Keaton

    LOL! I couldn’t agree with you more. Authors just don’t have always have original ideas.

    “The Again-aning.” That’s just instant classic stuff there. 😀

  26. Shannelle C.

    I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of good retellings, but I do wish they would retell the other stories. And I’m definitely in awe of your Photoshopping. I hate transferring parts of an image, mostly because I always get it wrong. You got SKILLZ, Kat.

  32. Natalie

    PAHAHAHAHAHA

    For a second I thought these were real books because it’s a Monday and I was all RAGEEEE.

    But the funny thing is…these are real books, and far too often. Oh well.

    Kat, you’re fabulous. JSYK

  33. Kelsey

    Brilliant. Just brilliant. I’m rather sick of all these books myself.

    But this post. . . If I wasn’t so tired, I’d be laughing. Genius. Absolutely, positively genius.

  35. Christina (A Reader of Fictions)

    Oh Kat, I am sadly with you on much of this, though, admittedly, I will take ALL of the fairy tale retellings that you have.

    But, yeah, as much as I love, and even kind of need, romance in my books, so often the detractor in what I’m reading is the romance. I just want to shake the authors, like “guys, this is my favorite part, and you ruined it.” And then sob in a corner with my vodka.

    Your second cover also reminds me that I’m kind of tired of Steampunk, at least the ones with covers like that. There tends to be not enough cover development for me.

  36. Kaethe

    You are brilliant. Truly, I hope never to read another love triangle ever again.

  37. Ellie

    The first one had me laughing sooo hard! I hate love triangles so much that I run screaming every time I come across one. If there’s just the slightest hint at one in the blurb, the book’s back on the shelf in no time at all.

    I’m also totally with you on the second one. I’m not into dystopias because they tend to be mostly all about the love story and in most cases have a happy ending. I mean, dystopias are supposed to have hopeless and bleak endings! That’s why it’s called dystopia.

    Except for the Lunar Chronicles, I haven’t read any fairytale retellings so far, so I can still enjoy them.

  38. Krys

    I don’t know if it’s the content I’d be tired of or the what. I’m also not sure whether those covers are real… but what I’m tired of is receiving Indies and getting low-budget book covers.. they either have over-Photoshopped people on them which doesn’t work well with the background, or really kiddish covers (seriously, it looks like something a 5 years-old would draw!)

  41. Renee Bookboyfriends

    HA HA HA omigosh hilarious!!! I totally fell you though! SOOOO relatable!!! 😀 Thanks so much for sharing, and wow what a great idea! (Also I love the cover designs there!)