Welcome to In 10 Lines. Ever wanted to know what happens in a book, but couldn’t be assed reading it for yourself? Cuddlebuggery comes to the rescue with In 10 Lines. In 10 Lines we will tell you everything you need to know about the featured book so that you can cheerfully move on with your life, or choose to read it should your attention be piqued. So sit back, relax, and try not to clench as we proceed.
Today we’ll be reforming Harry Potter and The Philosopher’s Stone, a recommendation by one of our readers that I simply couldn’t pass up if I expected to take myself seriously as a random blogger who fooled around on the internet once too often. So, without further ado, we present to you: Harry Potter and The Philosopher’s Stone by J. K. Rowling in 10 Lines!
Vernon Dudley: There’s no mail on Sundays! Hahahaha! My plans to keep you an unloved orphans shall come to fruition!
Hagrid: Yer a wizard, Harry!
Harry: Dude, this school it totally bitchin’! Hey Ron, how’s it going?
Ron: That Draco Malfoy looks like a right prat. Let’s be friends instead!
Harry: Awesome. But what about that smart chick, Hermione. She’s well-fit! Friendsies?
Hermione: Sure. Let’s investigate these mysterious circumstances.
Snape: OB-viously, I’m a bad guy. You’re trouble, Harry Potter, and I will sniff you out.
Harry: Let’s get that evil Snape dude!
Professor Quirrell: Haha! Psyche! I’m totally the real bad guy!
Dumbledore: I award Gryffindor 50 points for the fact that I abandoned Harry as a child and ignored this obvious and certainly fatal plot that three eleven year olds were able to foil. Congratulations for surviving one year, Harry! May the next six be equally kind. *snicker*