Welcome to In 10 Lines. Ever wanted to know what happens in a book, but couldn’t be assed reading it for yourself? Cuddlebuggery comes to the rescue with In 10 Lines. In 10 Lines we will tell you everything you need to know about the featured book so that you can cheerfully move on with your life, or choose to read it should your attention be piqued. So sit back, relax, and try not to clench as we proceed.
Today we’ll be reforming The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, a book that I really am quite fond of. The eternal question of who to ship, Gale or Peeta still haunts the fandoms and the debate comparing it to Battle Royale is intensely interesting to all hipster. So, without further ado, we present to you: The Hunger Games In 10 Lines.
Katniss: Don’t worry, Prim. You have an infinitesimal chance of winning this random lottery that decides which children will fight to the death for the country’s amusement.
Effie Trinket: Primrose Everdeen!
Peeta: It was brave of you to take your sister’s place. Now, say goodbye to your boyfriend Gale. And me. Because I’m probably going to die but I think you’re going to win.
Katniss: What game are you playing? Are you going to double cross me? Also, AAAAHHH! Flying spear! Shit. That gorgeous little girl, Rue, just died!
Announcer: We are arbitrarily changing the rules so that two can survive instead of just one. So long as they’re in the same team. No, we have absolutely no ulterior motive for doing this…
Peeta: Thank god you found me, Katniss. We can make it!
Announcer: Ha! Jokes! See? It was funny! We gave you hope and now one of you has to kill the other! Hahahaha!
Katniss: Well, we’re both about to eat these poison berries, so you totally better cave.
Announcer: Fuck. Girl, you are in so much trouble from the Capitol. But alright, scamps! You both get to live!