Like many bibliophiles we all have a series or favorite book we grew up reading. It stays with us and may have even helped shape usinto the people we are today. If anyone were to ask me what my favorite series of all time was, I would effortlessly tell them, “Pfft, Harry Potter. Duh.” I’d go on to describe the wicked love affair I had with all things Harry Potter. How I used to go to the midnight parties, obsessively check Mugglenet and J.K. Rowling’s site for the latest happenings, re-read the books that were released over and over hoping to find clues to the ending, ect. I was a die-hard fangirl and I loved every minute of it… er sometimes.
But what you also may not know is how Harry Potter singlehandedly scared the bejeezus out of me and crushed my little soul into a million pieces. And then the films cames out and further traumatized me. What’s that? Are you snickering at me? Oh, c’mon, you know it’s true too. Don’t remember? Well, allow me to walk you down memory lane.
Also, I think this goes without saying, but there will be major HP spoilers. Though, if you haven’t read this series yet, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
1. A Face Not Even A Mother Could Love
Tell me that image doesn’t just burn a hole into your brain. Look at him. Look at him! He has two faces! I’m not exactly proud to admit this and I know Kennedy probably will never let me live this down, but this scene scared crap out of me. I think I was in elementary school when I first read Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone and my mom came home one day with the book telling me we’d read it together. For a while we did, but she was a much faster reader than I was so she quickly finished it, leaving me alone to face Voldy and a boy who could burn him with love. That scene gave me nightmares for a week and it took me months to even think about continuing on with Chamber of Secrets. So, thanks mom for teaming up with Rowling and screwing with my mind.
2. “I Don’t Like Spiders!”
So here I was conquering my fear and continuing on with this series, thinking that I just needed to man the hell up. Everything was going great until Hagrid introduced me to his “pet.” Aragog was one scary mothersucka with his big, hairy body and big, black, beady eyes. And don’t forget his “babies.” Poor me Ron was all terrified and yet I couldn’t stop reading! I mean, really. There were times where I just wanted to ask Rowling if she knew she was writing for children. *stares at picture* *shudders* Yup, that’s just how I imagined he would look. Bravo Hollywood for bringing my fears to the big screen. I’ll never look at spiders the same way again.
3. Baby Voldy
If I thought old Voldy couldn’t be anymore terrifying as a grown wizard, his baby form was downright disturbing. DISTURBING. Obviously, he was never very huggable in the first place, but leave it to Rowling come up with something like that and scare a teenager. (Accio, nightlight!) I was actually in 9th grade when I read Goblet of Fire and I read it in my best friend’s basement at night. BIG MISTAKE. When Voldy rose from the caldron a babe no more without his nose, I had to put the book down and step away. When my best friend asked me why I decided to stop reading for the night, I cooly told her I was just really tired and needed sleep, secretly hoping that info wouldn’t get out damaging my “street cred.” No sleep was had that night. Unsurprisingly, it’s my least favorite in the series. I think part of that is because it gave me nightmares. Again. It was at this point that I began wondering what was wrong with me. Surely a children’s book shouldn’t affect me this much. Oddly enough, Goblet of Fire still remains the only book in the series that I do not own. That may or may not be a coincidence.
The Order of the Phoenix is where I thought I had gotten brave. That is, until my favorite character, Sirius Black, died. I’m not ashamed to say I cried a river into my pillow. I was angry at Rowling for not killing off Author Weasley instead. I was angry at Beatrix for *sniff* taking Sirius away from Harry and I. That woman was so evil! H-h-how could she possible do that to us?! We had just found our god-father and she just stole him from us without a care in the world. And then the little heifer LAUGHED! I’ll Avada her Kedavra! I couldn’t believe it. I walked around my house depressed feeling awful. I almost gave up the series at the ending of Order of the Phoenix because the heartache was just too much to deal with. It seemed the only things Harry Potter had to offer me was nightmares and tears. But like the stubborn person I am, I waited right in line with the rest of the fangirls and fanboys for The Half-Blood Prince.
5. “He Trusted You!”
Do you guys remember when Albus died? Was it one of the saddest days of your life? Well, I was in serious denial. In fact before the truth hit me, my mother read it, cried all around the house and I couldn’t understand why she was even upset. Her response was something like this: “Didn’t you read the book? Dumbledore died.” I stared at her in disbelief. She actually believed Dumbledore died! I thought it was all a part of Rowling’s ultimate HP plan. Dubmbledore would come back and help Harry save the day. I just knew it! I held onto the feeble hope all the way until the release of Deathly Hallows. If there is one thing Half-Blood Prince told me about life besides the fact that sometimes even the greatest wizard can die, it’s that Rowling totally shat on my feelings.
*rages in her living room* *throws HP books around*
Okay, I feel better. Sorry about that. Sometimes I can be a little emotional. Let’s never speak of that okay?
Till this day I still ponder the all important question: How could you do this to me?! *weeps* I remember reading that scene thinking there was no way, absolutely NO WAY she could kill of Dumby. I mean, first Sirius, then Dumbledore and then Fred, Hedwig, Dobby, Remus, Tonks and a bunch of other characters I can’t be bothered to remember in my grief. That’s one long list of death, Jo. It tore me to pieces. And then you ended your series and left me with Post-Potter Depression. How was I supposed to go on with my life? Twilight?! Yeah, right. >_>
Sometimes I’m surprised I managed to survive while reading this series. While it’s true Rowling isn’t exactly the Grimm Brothers, she, in her own right, had the ability to bring out some pretty strong emotions in me. So go on and sit smugly behind your computer screen pretending to be unfazed. I know the truth. You’re just as scarred as I am.
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