5 Things I Learned While Not Attending BEA

5 July, 2013 Musing Musers 13 comments

Bea1. I need bloggers/authors in my life or I will go insane.

It was hella boring. And I mean, REALLY boring.  Almost everyone was gone from twitter. Nothing to do.  No one to talk to.  I wondered the wilderness alone.  Friendless.  I was like a zombie searching for anything remotely interesting to consume on the barren landscape that my social media had become.

2. Jealousy is a bitch.

What’s that?  You got to met fifteen different authors and watch them drink themselves into a stupor?  What?  No, I’m not jealous.  No I’m not carving a doll of you to spiritually represent you while I stick pins in it.  STOP ASKING SO MANY QUESTIONS!

Everyone went to super cool parties, got awesome ARCs and partied with all the cool kids.  I knitted a scarf for my cat.  My cat ate it.  Huzzah…

3. Steph can never, ever leave me. Ever.

Blogging without my spiritual partner and blogger wife Steph was hell.  Like if hell was a lonely, terrifying world where nothing makes sense and any wrong move could make the blog explode and the world as I know it end.  Her return hailed the coming of sense, reason and companionship.  No longer was I left adrift in the sea of lonely bloggerness.

4. It’s not as easy to stalk someone on the internet as you’d think

You know that feeling you sometimes have where someone is following you?  Watching you?  Marking your every move?  Yeah that was me.  Unfortunately I found out less than I wanted to.  It’s hard though.  I would have liked to know more.  To see through your eyes. To know what you know.  To shadow your every move. But you people simply don’t update enough, don’t log your activities online enough.  Don’t have your GPS activated on your electronic devices so that I could hack into the remote signal, activate the camera and speaker parts of your phone so I can see and hear what’s going on around you.  You are all so selfish!

5. I absolutely must go to BEA next year.

It will happen or there will be blood.

 

13 Responses to “5 Things I Learned While Not Attending BEA”

  2. aboesen_29

    I definitely plan on going next year. I was SO envious of everyone that was there mingling with the other bloggers & authors,stacking their bookshelves with ARC’s etc.But I really do need blogger friends in my life.

  3. Dargy

    WUT. The more important thing I got from this post was this: “and aspiring author in the Young Adult genre” WHAT?!!!!!! HOW DID I MISS THIS?

  5. Janita

    So funny 😀 I really want to go some day, but I know it won’t happen anytime soon.

  9. ashleyreneemullins

    I hope you get to go next year. I am saving up to go but I don’t know very many blogger people to hang out with so I am not alone and lost.
    I tried to participate in Armchair BEA and I did really good the first two days then the topics just didn’t interest me ery much.

  10. Princess__Ash

    If you don’t come next year there absolutely WILL be bloodshed to look forward to.
    I loved meeting one half of the Cuddlebuggery team, but you plus the accent paired with Steph? Hopefully there won’t be any lightning strikes or catastrophic events to commemorate the momentous  occasion!

  11. Michaniya

    I was totally doing #4 during BEA week and I was getting so annoyed when people didn’t have enough pics, enough tweets, enough stalker worthy shit on their social networks. People make stalking so difficult nowadays. LOVE this post!

  13. Annie J

    Everyone went to super cool parties, got awesome ARCs and partied with all the cool kids.  I knitted a scarf for my cat.  My cat ate it.  Huzzah…
    I share your pain, only I’ve felt that about Comic Con for years.  And will be feeling it all over again this year.  I don’t think I could handle feeling it about book things too 🙂