So Steph, Meg and I were hanging out one day and Steph was all like:
“Hey, you know I got some awesome new shelves right? LOOK AT MAH KITTENS!”
And Meg was all like, “Something, something, something – CANCEL VAMPIRE DIARIES AND GIVE ME THE 100.”
I don’t know, I don’t pay attention to my cobloggers that much because I suck.
But we were thinking about what the best thing in the world is and they definitely both agreed with me that there is the ultimate, ideal candy that rules the world and that that candy is gummi bears. And no, they are not being held hostage and against their wills and they’re definitely not begging you to help them right now. Gummi bears are just that good. And I’m willing to prove why.
The story of how Meg and Steph realised Gummi Bears are the best is not long or exhaustive.
We were all hanging out together, shooting the shit and just generally being awesome, when we saw a comet in the sky. Of course, because we’re actually thirteenth century peasants, we freaked the fuck out. Because, to us, comets mean death, destruction, war and famine.
Look, I’m not going to rhapsodise here. Rhapsodising is for velociraptors and 80’s rock bands. We got pretty damn scared. We may have filled a bag with witch hazel and sacrificed it to our deities like the peasants we were.
Help! Help! I’m being oppressed!
But the deities didn’t accept our offerings of witch hazel, or black cats, or upside down cross things that we got from the new age store down the street. Sold to us by Bessy who is a kindly old lady if sometimes a little high.
No, only Gummi bear would do. Haribro Sugar-free Gummi Bears. Which we bought in bulk just to be sure. Though in retrospect, we probably should have read the Amazon customer reviews for the bulk Gummi Bears because the gods and goddesses we worship as pagan deities all died from unexplainable indigesitve malfunctions and I’m not going to say the gummi bears did it but, I will suggest we have our suspicions.
However once they were dead, we knew the comet’s predictions would never come true and we were finally safe forever.
And that’s why Meg and Steph agree with me that Gummi Bears are the best.