Scorched, the convoluted story about a girl who could start an apocalypse just by hatching a dragon. It’s a dragon apocalypse!
You know, I honestly don’t know why I picked up this book from my ARC stacks. I just felt like dragons. But I probably should have guessed, based on the dragon coping a feel of the the girl on the cover there, that this book wouldn’t be for me. I stuck with it, though, and gave it a fair shot. All the way to page 136 when I had to stop for my sanity’s sake.
So the writing itself wasn’t the worst. I had no real problem with its descriptors or anything but the three main characters drove me completely up the wall.
The plot tried to pull this WHAT A TWIST style story structure. Trying to keep you guessing on who Trinity should trust. The clear answer being your friendly neighbourhood Spiderman and nobody else. Spiderman would have known what to do.
The most aggravating thing about this novel is that a few pages can’t go buy without Connor mooning over Trinity. Or Trinity mooning over Connor. Or Caleb mooning over Trinity. I didn’t get up to the part where Trinity moons over Caleb, but I’m pretty sure it would happen eventually. And when people were kissing only a few hours after meeting, I wanted to throw the book at the wall and sing I Feel Pretty to myself until the pain went away.
“She was beautiful, he thought. The history texts did not do her justice. Sure, she had the same tangles of black curls falling down her back in waves, the same delicate features. But no photo could capture her long lashes, sweeping across freckled cheeks, or the way her lower lip plumped as she frowned in her sleep. And they certainly couldn’t capture the fiery passion in her black eyes, illuminating the spark that was so strong within her.”
And no photo could capture my pain at having to read this shite every time Connor or Caleb decided to go all star-eyed over the most specialist special girl who ever specialed. Because Trinity is the uberspecial. She kicks off the apocalypse, she has super powers, she’s bonding with a queen dragon, she’s gorgeous, she’s going to be world famous/infamous. Two uber hawties travelled back in time ala Terminator to save her.
Kill. Me. Now.
And can we talk about the use of the word Fleck? Instead of swearing in the book, Connor and Caleb use the word Fleck.
Look, first of all, you’re a Young Adult novel. It’s okay to swear. Really. I give you permission to use the word fuck. And don’t try to tell me that it’s possible that 200 years in the future, people will have replaced fuck with fleck. It’s never going to happen. Fuck is a perfectly serviceable, good word that isn’t suddenly going to be replaced by some random reiteration of it within a few generations. It’s just… Stop it, okay? Just bloody swear because you’ve made me do enough of it already.
Basically, this book is a hot mess and I demand reimbursement for the pain it’s put me through. That or, I dunno, a puppy.
Amanda
So maybe Spiderman could have been inserted himself? Dropped some fuck’s throughout the plot and saved the book!
Kat Kennedy
That would have made everything 100% better.
Kate Copeseeley
Next time you feel like dragons, do yourself a huge favor and read Anne McCaffrey. You won’t regret it. 🙂
Kat Kennedy
Who is this Anne McCaffrey? What dragons does she write about?
Kate Copeseeley
MY GOD. The fact that so few of my book friends know of Anne McCaffrey or have read her books is a tragedy.
She’s a Sci-fi/ Fantasy author who was big in the 70’s-90’s. Her books changed my girlish reading life. So great. The good news is, you’ll be able to find them anywhere (including your library). I recommend either the YA: Dragonsong or the adult version the first of which is Dragonflight. McCaffrey was writing about humans bonding with their dragons before anyone else was. But in her books, dragons fight Thread. (and that’s all I’m gonna say about it.) Slight Warning: Very feminist, but the man/lady interactions are a bit odd in some of the older ones because 1970’s.
And now I’ve written a novel. LOL
Brigid
“the way her lower lip plumped as she frowned in her sleep”
GROSS. No more stalker boys please.
Kat Kennedy
Yeah I’m so over it.
Natalie M.
And I thought we’d gone past the era of Special Snowflakes and the stalker boys who worship her.
Kat Kennedy
Apparently not! I wish we were though.
La Coccinelle @ The Ladybug Reads...
LOL! Dragon coppin’ a feel. Watch those claws, mister!
Kat Kennedy
Bad dragon! Bad! Hands to yourself.
Ella
GOD, I am SO tired of YA authors of changing swear words, because not only does it not make sense, IT’S PATHETIC. And stupid. >:| Makes me so cross and more then likely to dislike the book.
Oh, and is it just me or does that girl on the cover look like Anna Kendrick?
Nice review, Kat.
stanthe(wo)man
The fact that you read books hardly makes you an expert on them. Try writing a book (actually finishing one) and being published, and then you might earn some credibility. Also, if reviewing is your ‘thing’, at least ensure you are fully committed. Your grammatical errors reflect poorly on your writing capabilities.
Kat Kennedy
I feel like I shouldn’t have to lecture someone about the politics of posting on someone else’s blog, but it seems like I do.
In short, fuck off. These are reviews for my readers. If my review hurt your wittle feelings then that’s your problem, not mine.
Also, if going around being an asshole is you “thing” then at least get some new material. Your butthurt attitude reflects poorly on your personality.
stanthe(wo)man
Now there’s the immature yet predictable response I expected from you. My feelings are absolutely fine! Yours on the other hand appear to be all over the place! If you feel my comments are rude and horribly offensive then perhaps I’ve given you some insight into how an author feels when you shit (poorly) all over their work for your own self-absorbed purposes. My job here is done.
Richy the Cuddly Viking
Hey Stan, you are calling her on her “reviewing skills,” but all I see from you is asinine comments. Maybe you should try writing a review yourself, and I don’t just mean those pop-up kid’s books you and I are so fond of. I know, I know, you want everyone (like me) to be aware of how scary that high tower is on page seven of “Stan the Twat is Caught in Cuddlebuggery Castle” but coming on here and allowing diarrhea to pour out of your fingertips just isn’t the way to do it.
“But Richy,” you ask, “how will I let everyone know I disagree with Kat if I don’t attack her on a personal level?” Well, Stan, I gotta remind you that I said you need to write a review, this will create something infinitely more constructive than attacking a reviewer. I doubt you can think about that, though, because you are totally too busy being a warrior for good…or whatever it is you think you are accomplishing here.
“Richy,” you say, “if I don’t troll on here, where will I troll?” Might I suggest Youtube? Your verbal assault and vernacular would go perfectly with all the whining thirteen year olds hating on the new Sonic the Hedgehog games.
Also, while we’re at it, what the hell have you ever written? And please don’t mention any of your many and varied erotic Winnie the Pooh stories, I’ve read them and they are absolute trash.
Lyn Kaye
So I can’t write reviews without publishing a novel? I have some issues with this thinking. I can’t tell other people if an eatery is good or bad because I have not been rated by a newspaper on my own cooking. I also can’t tell others if a car mechanic is good or bad because I have no expertise in this field.
However, other people have commented and published on my supposed bad attitude, so I suppose I am profession bitch. So as a professional bitch, I can say that you can take your negativity somewhere else. No one needs it, no one wants it, there is really no reason to come onto someone else’s space and act like a total wanker.
Piss off.
stanthe(wo)man
Look at all those commas Richy! You must be a teacher.
Richy the Cuddly Viking
Why thank you Stan! how did you guess? Stan, may I call you Stan? (my God look at all my question marks, I must be an obnoxious student as well) I’m going to level with you right meow. It’s pretty clear that one sentence is all I’m ever going to get out of you, I won’t stoop to your level by pointing out what errors you’ve made commenting here (read: you commented here, that was your mistake. And too much choke-jacking), but no wait I’m totally going to.
It’s clear that you are a bit challenged when it comes to stringing sentences together once you are on the defense. Not the greatest feeling in the world to have someone write something asinine and scathing at you is it? Maybe you should stick to writing that Winnie the Pooh fanfic, all your friends (read: maybe just your mom if she loves you enough, I certainly wouldn’t) can pump it up for you in YOUR comments section. Isn’t criticism like this just awful? Makes one rethink what derpy things one has said when assaulting another reviewers character. Maybe you should give my advice a try. Read the book yourself and write it a wonderful review on your on site, or on Goodreads, I couldn’t give less of a fuck if I tried.
MY GOD MY COMMAS ARE OUT OF CONTROL, THEY HAVE GAINED SENTIENCE, HELP ME STAN!
But seriously, I don’t give a fuck that I use a lot of commas. I’m going to keep using them because I think they are pretty. You can go off into your own little choke-jacking world where there are no commas, since you are so perfect and all that. I can’t wait to read all those reviews you have clearly written, and all those books YOU have published. I look forward to your fragmented sentence response, Stan. You are my darling little ass clown.
Richy the Cuddly Viking
I look forward to ALL THE THINGS from you Stan, that’s what I’m trying to say here.
Lyn Kaye
Flecking awesome review, Kat.
Stacey Trombley
lol about your “fuck” comments (is it weird that I feel odd writing that here, in my real life persona, but love to use it in writing? 😉
I wanted to read this book based on the cover (DRAGONS!) but never did pick it up. Guess maybe that was a good thing??