Hold onto your butts – Mockingjay Part 1 Poster!
Is it too soon to get out of control excited for Mockingjay Part 1? No? Good, because we’re already there. This poster came out this week to our extreme delight. Simple. Powerful. Effective. Rather like a double dose of laxative, it gets the job done. Mockingjay Part 1 hits theatres, like I hit bad jokes and puns, on November 21, 2014.
These Broken Stars – We see you, or, we WILL!
The awesome writing powerhouses Amie Kaufman and Meagan Spooner are coming to a TV near you. Well, not them personally, but their book These Broken Stars will! The project has Eric Balfour, who I actually recognised from Buffy, which shows the number of times I’ve watched that show is too damn high! I asked Meagan and Amie for a quote about the project, but they set the dogs on me. Typical.
Authors are make teh pennies
Do you want to be an author? I hope you enjoy crippling poverty, because that’s what you’re looking forward to. Figures released this week from Digital Book World reveal that there’s a good reason authors drink horrible wine. That is because it’s actually upcycled stale apple cider, since they can’t afford anything better. About 55% of Traditionally published made less than a thousand dollars in a year. Only 10% of them made more than $20,000 a year. Suddenly that Bachelor of Arts degree that got you your cushy job at a McDonalds counter doesn’t look so bad now, huh?
Vampire Academy Movie will keep releasing stuff until forever
Two new VA clips came out this week. Presumable by the time the movie actually comes out, you could piece it all together through the prerelease clips. However, the second clip actually managed to do for me, what none other has done so far. Actually make me excited for the movie. It’s heavy on the action, heavy on the intensity and conflict – just what I like!
First images of The Giver
We’re getting our first images of The Giver through and they are hawt! Which I’m sure is totally the point of The Giver. I don’t know, I haven’t read it. But aussie Brendan Thwaite, who I grew up down the street from, is looking good as Jonas. Jeff Bridges has been trying to get this book turned into a movie for 20 years now. That’s pretty impressive so I better make a dick joke. Usually you should see a doctor after the first four hours, Bridges.
New Twilight Valentine’s CD
In this week’s news that makes me unnecessarily depressed: a Twilight Saga love songs album will be out in time for Valentines day, making it the third worst Valentines day gift narrowly beating out chlamydia. This prompts people to scratch their head, looking around in bemusement while asking themselves if Twilight is still a thing. The cover contains three of Madam Tussaud’s most okay attempts to capture the cast. Those wax statues have also been photoshopped to look as eerily unrealistic as was mathematically possible with the technology at the time.
The Red Room of Pain Paradise
As we are legally obligated to report on all 50 Shades of Grey news, whether we want to or not, by our robot overlords, we bring you some incredibly manufactured drama from the set! Are you holding onto your knickerbockers? No, because you don’t own any. Nobody does anymore. Back to the point.
EL James and the director, Sam Taylor-Johnson, are fighting because she wants it exactly like the book and he really wants to remind her that if she wants it exactly like the book, she should have sold it to a porn company. Also, apparently Dornan and Dakota are in a relationship. According to highly suspect reporting, he’s being all possessive and creepy, in a TOTALLY hot way!
“She is very friendly and talks to everyone [crew, security, etc.] Jamie stays to himself and does not talk much. Jamie thinks Dakota gets really distracted, because she is so nice to people and so he will walk over to who she is talking to and try and end the conversation. He is nice about it, but he does ask them to leave her alone.”
Wow. That is not creepy and possessive at all! That is not highly reminiscent of the book series and probably a publicity ploy to increase public interest in the most blah story ever told. GREAT JOB TEAM. Thanks for forcing us to report on this, robot overlords. Your will be done.
The Wizard of Oz and The Slap coming to NBC
Haven’t had enough of The Wizard of Oz? Surely not after Oz The Great and Powerful so wonderfully met up to Baum’s feminist dream so beautifully. NBC says they might only do 10 episodes of the TV series, or they might do a five year series. Who knows? As soon as it’s not profitable anymore, all they have to do is tap their red shoes together three times and say, “there’s no thing like milking nostalgia for money.”
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