Buzz Worthy News 14th January 2013

14 January, 2013 Buzz Worthy News 21 comments


Buzz Worthy News

This week in Buzz Worthy News: John Green owns the New York Times list, the author of a Feminist and a Cowboy reveals tragic reality behind her novel, printed book sales lessened their decline, McDonalds might actually provide something that’s good for you – and we’re not talking about the food.  What’s the biggest mistake Hogwarts ever made, Cracked has the answer. Bookless library?  Welcome to the future and it’s in San Antonio – who knew? All this and more in this week’s Buzz Worthy News!

Buzz Worthy News is Cuddlebuggery’s weekly news post bringing you all the best information about the book and blogging world, particularly for the venn diagram of people who overlap between the two.  For new releases and cover reveals of all the best Young Adult fiction, check out our Sunday post: How New Titles.

Books News

bookless libraryWe’ve seen the libraries of the future.  Looks a lot like an Apple shop

So the world’s first bookless state-wide library system is being launched in San Antonio and other places are hot on its heels.

“Today, after months of planning, Wolff and other county leaders will announce plans to launch the nation’s first bookless public library system, BiblioTech, with a prototype location on the South Side opening in the fall.”

Other libraries have already gone bookless, such as The University of Texas at San Antonio, but this is the first state-wide library system to adopt the new world order ordained to us by our benevolent robot overlords. May Steve Jobs Rest in Processors.
“At UTSA, which opened one of the nation’s first bookless academic libraries in 2010, officials are pleased with the outcome and confident the concept will spread.“The students love it. It’s full all the time,” UTSA library dean Krisellen Maloney said. UTSA students use the facility in person, at home, in classrooms and via mobile devices, she said.”
The library isn’t going to be just anywhere.  Judge Wolff, who is behind the project, chose a location on the South Side – a place that seriously lacks bookstores and access to technology for the everyday inhabitant.

“The judge is aware that opposition may arise over cost and need, but he’s got his arguments ready. For one thing, the project starts on the South Side — where a decade ago citizens protested over lack of any bookstores there.

“We know they have less access to technology and less economic buying power than other regions of the city,” Wolff said. “Now we’ll be providing them a service that anybody else that has money would have,” he said.”

What they’ve failed to mention is when they’re going to start just transmitting books directly into your brain.  WHEN, SCIENCE?  WHEN!?


John Green crownJohn Green King of Teen

John Green, or as he’s known by his more formal name, John “Bloody” Green, has managed to make it on The New York Times’ YA best seller list four times for the 20th of January.  Mobs of people not old enough to vote then converged on Green and crowned him as their king (pictured left) before returning him to his throne of neatly bundled money (not pictured).

We contacted Green for comment but could only hear the sounds of rampant partying and repeated screams of, “I rule!  I *redacted* rule!  In your face, O’Reilly! In. Your. Face!”

The full list for this week is:

1. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

2. King John’s The Fault in Our Stars

3. Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs (rhymes with Handom Pigs.  Did anyone else notice this?)

4. Divergent by Veronica Roth

5. Insurgent by Veronica Roth

6. King John’s Looking for Alaska

7. The Book Thief by That-Author-Who-Occasionally-Beats-Me-For-Most-Followed-Australian-on-Goodreads

And a bunch of other books.  Full list here.

John Green is most famous for his books, webcam shenanigans, occasionally having to assure idiots that he doesn’t write porn for kids, and his brother Hank Green who is a Brony, ie. awesome.


thefeministandthecowboyThe Cowboy and the Feminist – is this some kind of sex code all the kids are using?

You know, I actually wish it was, because then this story might be happier.  Like, kids are going around being all like, “Well, I’m a sexy, business-savvy feminist, and you can be a cowboy who likes sexy feminists and wants my help to open an organic ranch together sharing equal profits and roles. Soon all those chaps get really distracting – you love how I tally the numbers and hustle the cattle, and I love how you make the all-natural yogurt.  Just stirring it nice and wide…” Now, that would be awesome!

Alas, the real world comes in and it’s just… not.  So this is a book where super-stereotypical man-hater meets conservative alpha-romance cowboy and he puts her in her place (under the man.  Literally and figuratively. Groan.) and they fall in love (double groan).  Only a couple of days ago, the author who wrote this based on her life experience, came out with a blog post and it managed to be even more depressing than the premise of the book.

The cowboy was an abusive asshole who controlled, emotionally abused and raped her – leaving Valdes fearing for her life.  Yup.  Great example of masculinity there.

“After one difficult fight, in which she’d “challenged him,” she wrote, he overpowered her, dragged her to the bedroom, and raped her, “telling me as he did so that I must never forget who was in charge, that I must learn to be nicer, that I must learn… to obey.” Only in retrospect, she wrote, did she realize the number of red flags she’d missed. SOURCE”

And it is incredibly sad that the very conservative values of epitomized masculinity so easily slide-off into abusive asshole territory.  I think I would rather have been wrong in my suspicions that The Cowboy was probably an asshole than to read the snippets that I did of Valdes’ post.  I’m just going to leave some of her quotes here in case you felt like being particularly depressed.

“[W]hile I set out to write a memoir that was a love letter to a man I was deeply in love with, a man who challenged me in myriad ways, a man who changed my life profoundly, a man I respected and honored greatly at the time, what I actually wrote was a handbook for women on how to fall in love with a manipulative, controlling, abusive narcissist.” SOURCE


“I’ve never gone back on the lessons I learned from it, though; in fact, I have been very clear to say I truly believe I emerged from that relationship a mellower, kinder, more compassionate and wiser woman, and absolutely a better girlfriend! My new boyfriend even wrote the cowboy a thank-you letter on my Facebook page, after he and I talked about the ways I changed after spending time in a different culture with a very different kind of man.” SOURCE

Valdes: Run, dude.  That one is not a keeper.  Valdes maintains all that she has supposedly learned about how women need to submit and all is true.  And that men with their super penises are awesome.  Kill me now, folks.


Fiftyshadesprequel I have the Best Idea EVER.

Okay, so this thing happened this week that made me think of the most brilliant idea ever!

“A tiny Yorkshire publishing house made waves when it announced plans to print a ‘biography’ of Christian Grey. Then came the scary threats from some bigshot lawyers.”

Firstly, great idea for the sake of money making – not so great with the practicalities of that whole legal thing.

“Within an hour of the Bookseller revealing details of the forthcoming book, the Hebden Bridge-based independent publishers Bluemoose Books were inundated with requests, including from 20 different European and north American publishers asking to buy the rights to the “biography”. They even had Hollywood on the phone – Universal Studios wanted to buy the film rights.”

Keep this in mind!  Clearly there is money to be made somewhere here if you were only smart enough!  So here’s my plan:
Step 1: Write a Fifty Shades fanfiction of a young, rich vampire named Christian Grey and his journey as he gets into the BDSM lifestyle – but as a VAMPIRE!
Step 2: Get lots of hits and downloads of the FF.
Step 3: Get major publisher to P2P this fanfic.
Step 4: Change his name to just Grey the Vampire, announce it is the prequel to this vampire’s future life and name the Book The Prequel of Grey.
Step 5: Give it one of those covers clearly inspired by the Fifty Shades of Grey trend.
Step 6: Sit back and watch the lawyer’s heads spin.
Step 7: Enjoy your money, preferably on something that won’t damn you to hell for all eternity.

Brilliant, yes?  Certainly, it would work out much better than it did for this poor Yorkshire publishing house:

“The only problem was Bluemoose Books did not actually own the rights to such a book – nor did it have the funds to print such a book – nor, in fact, did it have the book itself. None of its in-house authors had ever read EL James’s erotic novel, let alone written fan fiction purporting to tell the tale of how a troubled young chap grew up to be the tall, dark and handsome man of every woman’s dreams.”


Wallbanger_Cover450x679It never ends: Another Twilight FanFic is making it big

I actually kind of wish Nostradamus and et al actually could predict anything.  Surely, a heads up on this would have been nice.  First, Twilight came and we thought, “Just five movies.  Five movies and this will all be done with and people will get over it.”

But before that had even run it’s course, Fifty Shades happened. Great.  Those three books plus the inevitable movie adaptations that will follow.  Will that be 3-4 years of pain and THEN it’s done?

Nope.  Just hang up your hats.  We’ll probably have to suffer through Wallbanger selling a lot and having a movie and then by that point it will JUST be about time for remakes of the Twilight movies.

“Fifty Shades of Grey and Gabriel’s Inferno set the stage, and now WALLBANGER by Alice Clayton has surpassed both books with the most successful release of a former Twilight fanfiction ever. The title reached #2 on Amazon’s Top 100 Kindle Bestsellers list, and has sold over 100,000 copies since the November 27 release.

Alice Clayton is the author of The Unidentified Redhead and The Redhead Revealed, also with Omnific. Sales of WALLBANGER brought REDHEAD into the Top 100 Kindle Bestsellers as well. Readers are delighting in Clayton’s funny, sexy writing style.”

Someone make it stop. Please?  Please tell me it will stop…


lets_get_lost_by_urbannoodle-d5q0l45The End is Not as Nigh as we Thought

So, print book sales were down last year.  Stop, take that noose off, get off the chair and hear me out, okay?  So it was still a decline, but it wasn’t THAT much of a decline.  Not compared to 2011.  We stemmed the tides a little.

“Total sales of printed books fell to £1.51bn in 2012, down from £1.59bn in 2011, according to analysis of the year by book sales monitor Nielsen BookScan, with total value sales reaching their lowest since 2003. The number of printed books sold also fell, to 202m from 209m the previous year, with the average price of a book falling by 10p to £7.49, thanks to widespread discounting. But the Fifty Shades phenomenon and a booming erotica market, coupled with Suzanne Collins’s Hunger Games trilogy, JK Rowling’s first adult novel, Hilary Mantel’s second Booker winner and a strong performance from Jamie Oliver, meant the decline in sales in 2012 was “less severe” than in 2011, said Nielsen.”

No!  Don’t slip that noose back on!  Seriously.  It’s not over yet.

“but maybe the e-reader, without even realising it, is actually making more people want to read, in whatever format.”

Philip Stone, charts editor at the Bookseller, pointed to recent data from Nielsen supporting Green’s theory. The data, produced in partnership with Kantar Worldpanel, suggests that ebooks accounted for 13-14% of all book sales in the UK last year, in volume terms, and around 6-7% of all book sales in value terms.

“If so, that would put total consumer book sales across print and digital in 2012 slightly ahead of last year (by around 4-5%) but down slightly by value (down 1-2%),” said Stone. “In essence, then, people bought more books in 2012 than in 2011, but they paid less for them.”

See?  Better.  Maybe.  Kind of.


Image by Urban Noodle

ili_3dMcDonalds Gives You Something Good.  It’s Not Food.

“Following a pilot last year, which saw nine million books by Michael Morpurgo given away to children, McDonald’s has now committed to a new, long-term campaign backed by the National Literacy Trust. By the end of 2014, the 1,200-restaurant chain says it will have handed out at least 15m fiction and non-fiction books to families in the UK, starting today with a five-week promotion in which a non-fiction book from DK’s “Amazing World” series will be given away with every children’s meal. The books cover topics including stars and planets, big cats and oceans.”

Okay, I am not one to sing McDonald’s praises… but this is just fucking awesome.

Like, do you want a side order of fries with your literature?  Would you like to supersize that to a Proust? Or you can switch it out for a Cervantes or a Dickens.

“McDonald’s said it would also launch new “Happy Readers” £1 book offers, redeemable at WHSmith, and will additionally “lend its family-friendly restaurant environment and its focus on family fun to encouraging parents and children to enjoy books together”. As well as DK, it will work with other publishers throughout the next two years on its promotions.

Alistair Macrow, McDonald’s vice president, said that feedback about its book giveaway pilot had been “overwhelmingly positive”, and that nine out of 10 parents wanted to see more book promotions from the fast food chain following the Morpurgo launch last year. “I’ve been surprised by statistics [from the National Literacy Trust] that show that one in three children don’t own a book, and that half don’t enjoy reading,” he said. “This is a real opportunity for us to help shift the balance and put the fun back into reading.””

Yes.  Yes, I like this idea.  Please bring this to Australia!



Honest Toddler Might Get Eaten by Berenstain Bears

So Honest Toddler is one of the better things on Twitter.  He gives it to us straight, toddler style.  This time though, he took issue with the Berenstein Bears who I’ve been wondering about for years.  Well, I’m glad to know there’s at least one toddler out there just as concerned as I am.

[View the story “Honest Toddler Confronts Berenstain Bears on Twitter” on Storify]


 The Truth that Must be Told about Slytherin


 coverThanks to a Special Snowflake, I found an Awesome new Webaddiction

So there is this awesome, awesome tumblr showcasing some absolutely hilariously bad covers.  Only visit if you’re not on a deadline, seriously need to get some work done, or wish to continue with your life.

Anyway, I have Shannon McRoberts to thank for it.  This cover was uploaded to the Tumblr and it didn’t take long for the following communication to be sent to the site owner, Nathan Shumate.


Dear Sir or Madam,

You are using a work that I own the copyright of. The name of the work involved is “Athine Verses: The Blood Sisters (Nikeda Cover)”. It appears on a site operated by you at I have reserved all rights to this work, which was first published on my gallery in 2012.

Your copying and or use of my work, which appear at the link above, is unauthorized. You neither asked for nor received permission to use the piece nor to make or distribute copies of them in the manner you have. Your site is linked to another site you operate where you design book covers and it appears that you are using my copyrighted works to exemplify what you consider “lousy” in order to generate business for your cover design business located at Therefore, I believe you have willfully infringed my rights under 17 USC §101, et seq. and could be liable for statutory damages as high as $100,000. Further, such copyright infringement is a direct violation of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act and International Copyright Law.

I demand that you immediately cease the use and distribution of the work and all copies of it, that you remove any further works you may have stolen, that you remove the unauthorized posting of my cover, and that you desist from this or any other infringement of my rights in the future.

If I have not received proof of compliance from you within 72 hours, I shall consider taking the full legal remedies available to rectify this situation including contacting my lawyer and/or your site’s administrators.


Shannon McRoberts

Oh dear… There’s all the symptoms of Special Snowflake Syndrome!

Crazy law threats, overly sensitive to criticism, etc.

The rest of their interactions, including Nathan’s can be found here.  Try not to laugh.  And cry.  The account, hilariously, made it into the Guardian.


Kat Kennedy

Kat Kennedy

Co-blogger at Cuddlebuggery
Kat Kennedy is a book reviewer and aspiring author in the Young Adult genre. She reviews critically but humorously and get super excited about great books. Find her on GoodReads.
Kat Kennedy

21 Responses to “Buzz Worthy News 14th January 2013”

  1. Fangs 4 the Fantasy (@Fangs4Fantasy)

    I had a comment, but the internet eated it.

    “What they’ve failed to mention is when they’re going to start just transmitting books directly into your brain. WHEN, SCIENCE? WHEN!?”

    No! Oh nonononono! The horror your proposing here! What if this technology entered the wrong hands? Can you imagine a terrorist organisation using 50 Shades of Grey as a terrible weapon? You’re walking down the street, peacefully minding your own business and BANG 50m Shades of Grey downloaded straight into your brain!

    And if the military got their hands on this technology? There would be no more bullets, just vicious and horrific infliction of the Fallen quadrilogy on enemy combatants. Twilight could be deployed without restraint! Entire cities could be brought low by widespread use of the House of Night series. Cassandra Clare could be put to work in secret laboratories, churning out weaponised series (all of which have exactly the same characters). Victoria Foyt could be tapped as a weapon that could lay waste to entire continents of reasonable people.

    And pity those who are interrogated. Once there was waterboarding, now we have the worst fanfiction that the internet can provide downloaded straight to the brain…

    I have seen the future… and I am scared

  2. Fangs 4 the Fantasy (@Fangs4Fantasy)

    But not nearly as scared as I am by that “Feminist and the Cowboy”. Just reading the synopsis makes me feel dirty (see, imagine having THAT downloaded into your head!) One sad thing is not just the abuse this poor woman endured, but how much of his actions are presented in so much of the media as “romantic”.

    Every time I hear of 50 Shades and E.L James getting huffy over copywrite, I am torn between disgust at the hypocrisy and almost admiration for anyone who has such massive amounts of chutzpah, such awesome levels of “don’t give a shit” and such an incredible lack of self-awareness that they can do this. And yet more Twilight fanfic coming? See – see, the military has already started! They’re already creating the weapons of the future!

  3. Christina (A Reader of Fictions)

    Bookless libraries: FUCK THIS SHIT.

    John Green: This is not a surprise.

    The Feminist and the Cowboy: How do you not realize you’ve written a love letter for abuse until after you publish? HOW? Oh good, you’re dating a guy who would write a thank you letter to your abusive ex for whupping the spirit out of you. That’s just wonderful. Pardon me, while I go emasculate some cowboys.

    Fifty Shades of Prequel: Get on that, Kat. You will make enough money you can finance your actual books.

    Wallbanger: Ugh. No. Is she wearing a tutu on the cover? *narrows eyes*

    Print Book Sales: Take that, bookless libraries. I hate your bookless faces.

    McDonalds: I didn’t know they gave out books! That’s awesome!

    Berenstain Bears: The fuck did I just read.

    Special Snowflake: Pretty sure you can post book covers wherever as long as you don’t make money off them.

  4. nrlymrtl

    Thank you for the video. That was very funny.
    Also, I think I will be avoiding Valdes’ book. There’s enough hints, rules, and people in the world already telling me I should bow down to the Almighty Penis….snort.

  5. Kate C.

    So, Kat, as exciting as it might be to read all the books in your brain, I think we need to rethink this technology. Can you imagine all the injuries and accidents from people trying to read and do things at the same time? (That’s why God made audiobooks) And what if someone tries to read while driving? Could the cops pull you over for driving under the influence? Or what about those unfortunate readers who move their mouths when they read? Would the world think they’re crazy and talking to themselves?
    True story: When I got my first bluetooth for my phone, I was talking to my sister on it in the grocery store and a very nice woman thought I was talking to her. I had to have a several minute conversation with her about the price of eggs and butter so that I wouldn’t embarrass her. I imagine something like this happening in your bookless world.

    Speaking of which… I’m thinking that paper book sales were better last year because the book readers of the world realized how limiting and expensive ebooks are. You can’t loan them (really) or swap them. And $9.99+ for the rights to “license” a book that Amazon can erase from your kindle any time they feel like it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. For the first time in two years, I asked for REAL books for Christmas.

    BTW: Thank you for posting that dolphin cover. It was my favorite of the bunch. And for the authors who don’t have money to spend… $30 for one of these covers is a GREAT deal, in my opinion. Seriously.

  6. Samantha Citron

    I just read Wallbanger without even knowing it was Twilight fanfic! I hates fifty shades but I thought Wallbanger was hilarious! I laughed out loud for 150 pages straight! Haha.

  7. Liza

    Oh, Alisa Valdes. It’s like she always showcases the worst things about her life publicly, but never gets why people around her are shocked by the crap she puts up with.

  8. Liis

    The awful covers tumblr is now on my stress-relief-visiting sites. I kind of feel bad for laughing, but well, what can you do when the laughter is so deviously provoked.

    And yes, Wallbanger is supposedly really good and hilariously funny. But it seems that everything nowadays is 6 degrees related to Twilight.

    Thanks for all the buzz!

  9. sazbah

    Ahahaha! I totally read the intro as “John Green is a Feminist.”
    That… Cowboy… Feminist… dear… goodness. I feel <em>ill</em>. This… how does… I can’t even. I’m moving on before I forget to breathe and not murder people.
    But thank GOODNESS for good news. GO TEAM MCDONALDS*
    *Thing #347682357 I never thought I’d say.

  10. Heartless_Lyn

    So this year is going to be the Year of the IP battles, I see.
    Cowboy story – you know, if certain other NA/crappy Twilight knock-offs had a sequel, it would mirror the real story behind this one.  Sad.

  11. Kara_M

    I am not interested in bookless libraries. It is just not the same. If all libraries go completely bookless, I will die.
    I still need to read  a John Green book. This year is the year.
    I find the whole Fifty Shades thing amusing considering the original book’s origins in Fan Fiction. Why didn’t they just change the names? That’s what James did!
    It will NEVER stop. 
    That Tumblr is pretty awesome. I just wish they featured less self pub books because there are some traditionally published books that have pretty godawful covers.

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