Dear Debby is Cuddlebuggery’s weekly advice column for Fictional, Young Adult characters to get some life or romance advice. Debby is a caring, nurturing soul giving down to earth, wise words of wisdom to those in need. To email Dear Debby about your fictional troubles and literary characters, please email [email protected]
I’m an immortal god of the underworld. My siblings, concerned for my mental health, raised a human girl to become my bride. We’re married but we have a very uneasy relationship. She had to survive a number of tests to become immortal herself and it was traumatic because one of my siblings tried to kill her. Also, I’m still in love with my dead ex-wife and due to years of unhappy marriage I tend to be emotionally withdrawn, introverted, untrusting and cold. Added to that is the fact that my wife only lives with me for six months of the year. We only just got married but her six month break has started and she’s chosen to spend it with another man. This makes me insecure and so I pull away from her more. She’s also a desperate, needy person who requires almost constant reassurance. I’m not sure we’re really meant for each other and whilst I think I love her, I don’t think I can survive another loveless marriage. But on the positive side we have sex – which is a nice change because I’d only ever had sex once in my entire existence before I met her – and it was pretty horrible that one time. Should I stick with her or end my existence? What do you think?
Are your only options really to either make it with this girl or die? Stop being so defeatist! Is marriage hard? Yes. It didn’t work the first time, but are you really prepared to shut down and make it fail again out of fear for trying? But here’s my question – why is it either this girl or death? You’re old and you’re tired. But if the only solution is to either be saved by a girl, or die – then I’m sorry, buddy. That just isn’t going to work! Nobody should have that kind of responsibility. It’s not fair on her, it’s not fair on you and it’s, ultimately going to result in tragedy. Relationships, life-unions are hard enough without all the pressure. Did you ever think about asking her to help with your work load, take the pressure off a little and sort your own issues out before trying to force a relationship? One that you didn’t even choose? Your indecision and insecurities are obviously causing her intense emotional pain.
Seriously. You need to harden up and make some tough decisions here. The first is to get yourself together. The second is to decide if you not only truly want to be with this woman, but if you’re the best thing for her. Can you give her what she wants and needs? Can you give her all of yourself when you’re still hung up on a dead relationship. One that sounds like it was never all that great to begin with. Get yourself together, Tested!