We Do Dick Jokes

14 May, 2012 Musing Musers 50 comments

Lately, here on Cuddlebuggery, we’ve had issues with people who don’t like us coming to post on our blog.

Disliking us is perfectly fine.  If you’re building effigies of us to poke with pins and burn, if you hate everything we say and stand for then we’re here to say:

Great!  Fantastic!  Congratulations on being an individual with your own thoughts.  We invite you to hate us to your little heart’s desire.  To think we’re childish, immature, evil, horrible, dirty, slutty, filthy, mongrel bitches.  Go right ahead!

But if that’s legitimately how you feel, then Cuddlebuggery isn’t the best place to spend your time, and our posts aren’t for you to comment on.

Anyone is welcome to start discussion on one of our posts and disagree with us.  But if you’re coming just to abuse and insult us then we don’t believe this behaviour is appropriate.

So these are our site rules so that people understand:

-People coming just to hurl abuse/make their disdain for us now get one warning.  If they insist on this behaviour then their comments will be deleted with extreme prejudice and without response.

-If you honestly want to have a discussion with us you are always welcome to post your opinion as long as you’re not purposely rude and inflammatory.

-If you post abusive comments on our site then we reserve the right to screencap them and mock them senselessly at a future point of our choosing.

Our code of conduct is as such: We do not go to other blogs to start a fight.  We do not go to other reviews to insult or mock.  We do not care if you insult, mock, or hurl abuse at us on your own site.  Call us the devil, hate us, curse us all to your heart’s content.  Start a I Hate Cuddlebuggery blog and have at it to your hearts content.  Steph and I will do what we always do which is to privately laugh at you and move on with our lives.  Plenty of people don’t like us and have discussions in various places on the web about how horrible and immature we are.  We know because we’ve seen it and can’t muster enough fucks to give to fill a thimble.  We welcome you to share your opinions about us.  But don’t bring it here.  That is the only courtesy we ask.  If you hate someone you don’t go to their house and shit on their couch.  That’s just common courtesy.

We want Cuddlebuggery to be a fun place where people are able to laugh and chat and enjoy our content.  Cuddlebuggery is our home.  We love it, we cherish it and we’re proud of it.

We are unabashedly, unashamedly, uncompromisingly us.  Don’t like penis jokes and sarcasm and outrageous gifs and pics?  Then we invite you to check out our blogroll, find another book blog that suits you better, and we wish you well in life.

Don’t bring hate here.  That’s just… weird.

 

50 Responses to “We Do Dick Jokes”

  2. Nicola

    Well I love this place! 😛

    So much so that I got really worried when I realized I hadn’t gotten an email update from you guys in a few days. But apparently they were all going into my spam folder. Gmail deems you spammers!

    • Kat Kennedy

      @Nicola: it’s true. We’re spamming you. We’re really rusdian mail brides with Viagra!

    • Kat Kennedy

      @Emily (Ed and Em’s Reviews): yeah. It sucks because we don’t want people afraid to confront us when they think we’re wrong or want to debate us. It’s just for people being unrepentant dicks.

  4. Kristin (@_Kristin315_)

    I think you mongrel bitches have a horribly evil sense of humor… and I love it. You’re not afraid to tell it like it is and get down and dirty with your reviews. So what if you get a little filthy and slutty in your posts? Some may call it childish and immature but I call it entertainment!

    Darn I’m good. I used all of your name calling words 😉
    Keep doing what you do and screw what other people think about it. Dick jokes are funny!

  6. Jenni @ Alluring Reads

    This is by far one of my favorite blogs. Anyone who would come here to start shit isn’t worth the time of day. Well said you guys, keep doing what you do!

    • Kat Kennedy

      @GoogleUser1: BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What do you do here? I think that’s fantastic – I’m just honestly curious! What is it we provide for you if it isn’t to fuel your passion for YA?

      • JBH

        @Kat Kennedy: I actually stumbled on this blog in a search for something else, and I just LOVE the humor, the honest reviews, and the gifs. I think it takes a lot of talent to string together random pictures in a way that not only makes sense, but is actually funny.

        But it might just be me. I have a weird and perverted sense of humor, and an unnatural love of profanity. I blame my mother.

  8. Archer

    Haters gonna hate…

    I love this blog. I don’t follow many YA blogs because honestly… I don’t exclusively read YA lol. But it feels like a home away from home… A safe haven for like minded lunatics if you will. And long may it continue!

    • Kat Kennedy

      @Archer: I was thinking of adding more lunatics to the place. But you already contribute here!

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

      *dies from bad joke*

  9. a. knight @ paranormal indulgence

    *punches fists together* WHO’S GIVING YOU TROUBLE? We can take it outside on the blacktop. Three o’clock.

    Haters on the blog? Not. Cool. For serious. I sympathize. But keep doing what you’re doing, ladies, because this blog is Koolaid. 😀

  10. Lia

    Are you serious? Cuddlebuggery is awesome, and the reviews are hilariously funny and honest! How can anyone not love it?

    • Lia

      @Lia: I forgot to mention that my comment was a rhetorical question. Sorry! I know that some people can’t handle the swears on the blog, or that others just hate for the heck of it. Again, sorry (^^;)

  11. Ellen Faith

    Is it weird that I’ve stalked this blog and the comment section so much since I’ve discovered it that I recognise where this post is inspired from? :$

    But screw them. You girls are hilarious and that’s why I keep coming back.

    Also, you shoud make this the “fine print” of your site: “If you post abu­sive com­ments on our site then we reserve the right to screen­cap them and mock them sense­lessly at a future point of our choosing.”

    • Kat Kennedy

      @Ellen Faith: No. Our studies show that regular attendance to Cuddlebuggery improves you stress levels, heightens your intelligence and provides you with at lest 20% extra meme knowledge.

  12. linda

    Sorry to hear about people coming here to attack you. You guys are AWESOME. Love your incredibly thoughtful & insightful posts! 🙂

  13. Ellyn

    Well, here’s my first comment ever! WOOHOO.

    I love this blog and — like one of the other commenters — I don’t read YA all that much. (Well, I read the books that look wonderful when I can, but I’m too entrenched in a stuck-uppish English course at the moment to read anything other than snooty-nosed arteestic leeterayture).

    Basically you fulfill my undying thirst for sarcasm, snark, bookish babble, amusing giffery and insightful commentary. I adore this stuff, and as soon as I extract myself from the land of English Snobbery I intend to devour every single book you give rave reviews, because I’ve learned to trust you guys. You’re honest, hilarious and you hit every goddamn bullseye you aim your blog-gun at. Which, needless to say, makes your posts pullets. And your gifs gifpowder. And my puns (or whatever the hell those things are) groanworthy.

    So, should I ever meet one of these abuse-spewing spewmachines, my dear Cuddlebuggerers, I will egg them profusely. You have my snuggles. WHETHER YOU WANT THEM OR NOT.

    • Kat Kennedy

      @Ellyn: Oh dear. You don’t know what you’ve done to me with those puns. Alas, I am forced to find you, love you and keep you forever now. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE!

      • Ellyn

        @Kat Kennedy: That sounds both wonderful and deeply disturbing! Definitely more the former than the latter though.

        Much like this blog!

  14. Pocketful of Books

    Aww this is awful. I love this blog and you have never come across as immature to me. People just love having something to bitch about- I hope you have now scared them off! x

  15. Donna @ Bites

    I had this issue when I first started my blog. I had one commenter that was so adamant that when I finally told him to fuck off he didn’t understand why it was bad decorum to just come onto my blog and start winging fecal matter at the rotating devices for the hell of it. So I reworked my policy to remind people that my blog is like my house and you respect it and me when you go there. It’s that simple. But start dicking me and I’ll dick you right back.

  16. Christina (A Reader of Fictions)

    LOL. I should perhaps not be so entertained by this post. I really don’t get people who spend their lives searching out things that make them angry. Go read something that pleases you, boring though it probably is if you don’t like dick jokes and sarcasm.

  17. Heidi

    Too funny. Hats off to you for taking a stand. Your blog os wickedly fun and sure it isn’t for everyone but that is their loss right? Those people are gonna have a bad time no matter what…tell those couch shitting ass hats to take a hike!

  18. Desiree

    I hope that you guys understand that for every dick joke downer out there who talks shit about you on your own blog there are tons of people like me who absolutely love your dick jokes among many other things here at cuddlebuggery. Cuddlebuggery being unconventional is what makes it my favorite blog out there. I love that I am almost guaranteed a good laugh every time I visit you guys so keep up the amazing work and the hilarious dick jokes!

  19. Sarah (saz101)

    “If you post abu­sive com­ments on our site then we reserve the right to screen­cap them and mock them sense­lessly at a future point of our choosing.” Oooh! Mock me! Mock me! Wait… uh… don’t?

    Seriously, I love your dick jokes. I love your strange, perverse, confusing, creepy… uh… I love your humour ^__^

    And for the life of me I can’t understand why, if you don’t like something, you’d waste your time on it. Maybe they’re like little boys on the playground? The name calling is synonymous with hair pulling: they secretly have a cute, creepy crush on you?

    Sorry you guys have to deal with the drama. But don’t change (not that you would ;D). You’re made of awesome.

  20. Lexie B.

    I think the last picture really makes the post.

    In all seriousness, though, I don’t get the haters. WHO DOESN’T LIKE DICK JOKES? (That was supposed to say “Who doesn’t like your ridiculously hilarious and awesome posts?”, but dick jokes work too.)

  21. Rachel Hartman

    OMG, dick was the first bad word my mother ever heard me say, and she didn’t know what it meant! She could tell it was a bad word, though, from context. So not only was I in trouble, but then I had to define the word for her, and I was twelve and I wished I would DIE.

    OK, so that’s more of a dick anecdote. Still, at least your kids will never have to endure that particular awkward moment.

  22. Parajunkee

    Now damn, I thought it was appropriate to go to someone’s house and shit on their coach. *grins*

    What a shame you had to do this…but I guess speaking your opinion in a straight forward manner might bring out a few crazies. Good luck with all that and I look forward to your mockery.

  23. Parajunkee

    I mean — the mockery of the comments that are left — not your actual mockery. That would be kind of rude. Well…you know what I mean, right???

    • Kat Kennedy

      @Parajunkee: Sure we do! *hides couch* Thanks. It wasn’t so bad, we thought we’d better just lay down the law to facilitate relations with certain people in the future.

      Also, I just have a really short tolerance fuse.

  24. Georgette

    Right on! Freedom of speech is a wonderful thing. If they don’t like it, they don’t have to read it. Someone works very hard on these blogs, and maybe that’s why they’re so gutter-snipey(is that a word? Doubt it) about blogs.

  25. Nikki Jefford

    Thank god! So you won’t object to the word “jackass” in the excerpt I emailed for next week’s tour stop? I love dirty jokes and swear words. I came to the right place. 😉

  26. Amy @ Turn the Page

    People come here just to hate?!

    Someone doesn’t have a life.

    This is one of my favourite book blogs out there. I only wish my own was as funny and interesting!

    And that Toy Story pic made snort with laughter very unattractively….

  27. Kelly

    “We know because we’ve seen it and can’t muster enough fucks to give to fill a thim­ble.”

    This is why I love your blog.

    Keep up the great work ladies!

  29. Sofie

    I just found your site today from another blog and I’ve been reading your posts for the last 3 hours. I’ve laughed so hard that my sides hurt. I’m also neglecting my work, but we won’t talk about that. I’m loving everything about his site and will continue to visit. Thank you for the fun!

  30. Nisha

    Seri­ously, I love your dick jokes. I love your strange, per­verse, con­fus­ing, creepy… uh… I love your humour

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  32. Matt

    Haha….excellent article!
    I was teaching my nephew some jokes and he really loves this one:
    “Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: ‘I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here!!!”
    Hope your readers like it. too!
    Keep ’em coming…