Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
Publisher: Little, Brown
Pages: 498 (Hardcover)
Series: Twilight, #1
Isabella Swan’s move to Forks, a small, perpetually rainy town in Washington, could have been the most boring move she ever made. But once she meets the mysterious and alluring Edward Cullen, Isabella’s life takes a thrilling and terrifying turn. Up until now, Edward has managed to keep his vampire identity a secret in the small community he lives in, but now nobody is safe, especially Isabella, the person Edward holds most dear. The lovers find themselves balanced precariously on the point of a knife-between desire and danger.Deeply romantic and extraordinarily suspenseful, Twilight captures the struggle between defying our instincts and satisfying our desires. This is a love story with bite.
Obviously, I’m not an author and this post is just for fun. Think of this as fan fiction written purely for entertainment purposes. Please do not call your lawyers on us. Though, considering a certain popular fan fic author hasn’t been sued yet, I think Kat and I are safe.
This post was inspired by the fantastic videos over at www.howitshouldhaveended.com. Italicized text is the original publicized text from the book and is entirely the work of Stephenie Meyer.
How We Would Have Ended It
Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
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“I think we should go our separate ways.” I said quickly.
And then another nurse walked purposefully into the room. Edward sat still as stone as she took in my expression with a practiced eye before turning to the monitors.
“Time for more pain meds, sweetheart?” she asked kindly, tapping the IV feed.
“No, no,” I mumbled, trying to keep the agony out of my voice. “I don’t need anything.” I couldn’t afford to close my eyes now.
“No need to be brave, honey. It’s better if you don’t get too stressed out; you need to rest.” She waited, but I just shook my head.
“Okay,” she sighed. “Hit the call button when you’re ready.”
She gave Edward a stern look, and threw one more anxious glance at the machinery, before leaving.
His cool hands were on my face; I stared at him with wild eyes.
“Bella, be reasonable. Calm down and let’s talk about this,” he said.
“Calm down? You want me to calm down?! I was almost murdered because of you!” I yelled. “Get the hell out. To the left, to the left. Every thing you own in the box to the left.”
“Bella.” He stroked my face anxiously. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here as long as you need me.”
“Need you? Who says I even still want you?” I sneered. My ribs were throbbing.
He shook his head and muttered something unintelligible. I thought I picked out the word “overreaction.”
“You’re kidding right? ‘Overreaction?’ I’m in a hospital. Let’s just cut our loses. You’re a vampire stalker and I’m a mortal, who’s only danger was my clumsiness before you came along.” I said, trying to keep my voice from shaking. “I mean, be honest. Aren’t you the least bit tired of having to save my lazy ass all the time?”
“Well, I won’t deny that you are danger prone incarnate – in an endearing way,” he amended noticing my look. “But I don’t mind saving you. I just can’t help but feel responsible for all of this,” he said gesturing around the hospital room.
“Yeah, and don’t you freakin’ forget that, buddy.” I pressed. “You. Put. Me. Here.”
He winced at my words, but the haunted look didn’t leave his eyes.
“You’re right. I could have easily killed you,” he mumbled. “And yet still… I don’t seem to be strong enough to stay away from you. I’ll have to be more careful next time.”
“See, it’s that sort of psycho talk right there that creeps me out. And you wonder why I want you to leave me alone? One would think with a hundred years of experience you’d at least have worked all the teenage angst out of your system by now. You’re going to be the death of me. I’m doomed,” I said as I sink into my standard issued, hospital pillow.
“You’re going to recover,” he reminded me.
I took a deep breath to calm myself, ignoring the spasm of pain it triggered. I stared at him, and he stared back. There was no compromise in his face.
“No,” I said slowly. “I’m not.”
His forehead creased. “Of course you are. You may have a scar or two…”
“You’re wrong,” I insisted. “I’m going to die.”
“Really, Bella.”He was anxious now. “You’ll be out of here in a few days. Two week at most.”
I glared at him. “I may not die now… but I’m going to die sometime. Because you can’t seem to leave me the hell alone!”
He frowned as what I was saying sunk in, pressing his long fingers to his temples and closing his eyes.
He rolled his eyes and set his lips. “Bella, we’re not having this discussion anymore.”
“Oh, so now your true colors are showing. You’re a stalker and a controlling bastard. I hit the jackpot. I should have listened to everyone when they warned me about you.”
“What’s changed? Before you were telling me how much you loved me and how you couldn’t live without me,” he mused.
“Well, gee. Let me think. I suppose it could have something to do with a certain murderous vampire named James. I guess my rose petal glasses fell off my face when my head collided with the mirror,” I replied dryly.
We stared at each other for a very long time. It was quiet except for the whirring of the machines, the beeping, the dripping, the ticking of the big clock on the wall. Finally, his expression softened.
“What are you looking at? Why are you even still here?” I asked.
He chuckled humorlessly. “I believe it’s called an impasse.”
“Impasse my ass, Edward. Didn’t anyone ever tell you no means no?”
“You need rest. All this arguing isn’t good for you.” He reached for the button.
“No!”
He ignored me.
“Yes?” the speaker on the wall squawked.
“I think we’re ready for more pain medication,” he said calmly, ignoring my furious expression.
“I’ll send in the nurse.” The voice sounded very bored.
“You just wait until I get out of this hospital. Your days are numbered, Cullen.” I said. I probably sounded as ferocious as a furious kitten, but he will feel my wrath.
Then he smiled his crooked smile, and took my face between his hands. “I told you I’m not going anywhere. Don’t be afraid. As long as it makes you happy, I’ll be here.”
Smartass. I smiled back, ignoring the ache in my cheeks. “You’re delusional, you know.”
“And you’re in denial.”
I shook my head in disbelief— it made me dizzy. He was laughing when the nurse came in, brandishing a syringe. What a creeper.
“Excuse me,” she said brusquely to Edward.
He got up and crossed to the end of the small room, leaning against the wall. He folded his arms and waited. I kept my eyes on him, still apprehensive. He met my gaze calmly. I knew I had to watch this nut.
“Here you go, honey.” The nurse smiled as she injected the medicine into my tube. “You’ll feel better now.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled, unenthusiastic. It didn’t take long. I could feel the drowsiness trickling through my bloodstream almost immediately.
“That ought to do it,” she muttered as my eyelids drooped.
She must have left the room, because something cold and smooth touched my face.
“Leave.” The word was slurred.
“I think your medicine is making you say things you don’t really mean.” His voice was beautiful, like a lullaby. “Like I said, as long as it makes you happy… as long as it’s what’s best for you.”
I tried to shake my head, but it was too heavy. “No. Go away,” I mumbled.
He laughed. “Don’t worry about that now, Bella. You can argue with me when you wake up.”
Oh. You’re damn right I will. Bastard.
I could feel his lips at my ear. “I love you,” he whispered.
“Damn you.”
“I know,” he laughed quietly.
I wasn’t really there at all anymore. But I fought against the stupor weakly. There was just one more thing I wanted to tell him.
“Edward?” I struggled to pronounce his name clearly.
“Yes?”
“When I wake up, I’m lighting your ass on fire,” I mumbled.
And then the night closed over me.
The end.
Lisbeth
I love love love this. I hope Bella does light him on fire.
Kara @ Great Imaginations
It would have been awesome if she actually lit him on fire. Instead, he ran away and she almost committed suicide. What a great message for teen girls. Stephenie Meyer, I salute you–with my middle finger.
Stephanie Sinclair
@Kara @ Great Imaginations:
Lol, oh, Kara. I love you.
Kara @ Great Imaginations
@Stephanie Sinclair: And I absolutely love you back.
Ashley
Hahaha. Nice Beyonce reference.
Lisbeth
Man, I’d really like to read that. Edward on fire…
allforlost
I enjoyed the books, but this was freaking hilarious!!!
Desiree
Love it. Super funny and what any sensable girl would have said/did. I have to admit that I love Twilight for what it is but your ending was rad.
adizzy
that was so funny! 🙂 love it
Tana
Your How-it-should-have-ended’s are pretty funny 🙂 But I think most of them are so out of character that it takes away from the humor. It almost sounds as if me or you was inserted into the story, rather than it being the same character. Maybe that is inevitable, though… Just food for thought 🙂
Stephanie Sinclair
@Tana:
True, I suppose it’s no way around that! Lol.
Lexie B.
If you two don’t write a book soon I will have a sad.
Stephanie Sinclair
@Lexie B.:
Lol, well, Kat is working on a book! I just review books for now. 🙂
Reut
Oh, amazing. This was so brilliant. I expected just your thoughts on the ending but this was so much better.
Rebs @ Book Rants
This is awesome!
Kelly
You had me at “To the left, to the left. Every thing you own in the box to the left.”
Thanks for making my day!
Stephanie Sinclair
@Kelly:
Glad it made your day! 🙂