Dear Debby is Cuddlebuggery’s weekly advice column for Fictional characters to get some life or romance advice. Debby is a caring, nurturing soul giving down to earth, wise words of wisdom to those in need. To email Dear Debby about your fictional troubles and literary characters, please email contactus@cuddlebuggery.com.
From: Your Sir <Sir@roomofpain.com>
To: Debby <contactus@cuddlebuggery.com>
Date: Sat, Nov 3, 2012 at 8:01 AM
Subject: This or that
Dearest Debora,
Whilst browsing my sub’s computer the other day, I happened to stumble upon an email she’d written to you for advice. Naturally, I was displeased with this development and my first reaction was to place her right across my lap. She’d breeched our contract by reaching out to you and that is simply unacceptable.
The reason I am writing to you is for two reasons. One, to inform you that I have everything under control with my sub. This email she sent you is a little rebellion that sometimes happens when my subs try to test me. It is an indication that discipline is in order, if you will. And Debby, I am very good at discipline.
Two, while I have you here and with you being an excellent source of advice (my sub’s case aside), I’d like your professional opinion on something. You strike me as a stern individual that is not meant to be crossed, but also someone with a keen eye for pleasure. Below, I have attached an image of a form of punishment/pleasure I’m considering for my sub. What do you think?
Best Regards,
Sir
Attachment:
Dear Sir,
First and foremost, it concerns me that you would stoop so low to look through your significant other’s personal belongings. A good, firm set of boundaries would do you both some good, especially her considering she is unsure of your relationship in the first place. Second, if she is looking for a way out of the relationship that is not an indication that she requires any sort of discipline. I know I’m getting older, but I’m pretty sure asking someone for help doesn’t equate “bite me, whip me, chain me, sir!” Frankly, I am quite disturbed by your letter and will henceforth suggest that you leave Tied Up alone as your relationship is straddling (no pun intended, of course) abuse. Remember, Love is Respect. If you truly care for this woman, you will place her feelings and needs above your own. And, really, isn’t that what a true Dom is supposed to do anyway?
Best,
Debby
P.S. It scares me that anyone would be subjected to your “affection,” let alone the Barbies in your attachment.
Senator
BRAVO! Also, that book is creepy and I want to know WHY it became so popular.
Stephanie Sinclair
@Senator Probably the same reason why Twilight became popular. I haven’t quite figured out what the reason is yet though…
Sarah P
I am assuming that’s NOT his own Barbie and Ken because if he’s not downright disturbing before (which I believe he is, actually) then someone should really do something to make him see sense. Like, someone should knock him out with a big boulder or something. But I have a feeling he’d enjoy it with his kind of nature and all. Ugh. He’s helpless.
Stephanie Sinclair
@Sarah P LOL. I do not presume to know what goes on in the twisted mind of Christian Grey.
AnimeGirlAlex
Even Barbie looks like she’s in pain!!!
Sir is bad, bad Sir!!! The kind you want to beat over the head with a newspaper!
Great advice though!!!
Stephanie Sinclair
@AnimeGirlAlex LOL at bad sir! lolz forever.
Patricia
I’m seriously disturbed that I noticed how he never wrote “Me”, “My”, and “Mine”. This is what happens when you read crappy “erotic romance”, don’t believe a word and ask Doms and subs on tumblr about their opinion. smh
Love the post, fell in love with Debby. And definitely want more of those posts, too. XD
Stephanie Sinclair
Huh. I never noticed that before! But yeah, that is disturbing. Yikes!
And, more Debby to come for sure!
cynicalsapphire
I will be haunted forever by that image. O_O
Stephanie Sinclair
@cynicalsapphire Every time Kat and I look at it, we burst out in a fit of giggles. LOL.
haley61
hahahaha