5 Ways Book Blogging with Anxiety and Depression Sucks Balls

8 January, 2016 Musing Musers, Random 38 comments

5 Ways Book Blogging with Anxiety and Depression Sucks Balls

Let’s face it, book bloggers rock. But sometimes book bloggers are wading through the whole experience with anxiety and depression weighing them down. Well, let’s celebrate each achievement by book bloggers with anxiety and depression by embracing those things that make their life more difficult. Here’s just a short list of some of the challenges we face, that I personally have faced. Obviously I don’t speak for everyone with anxiety and depression.

 

1 Getting ARCs in the Mail.

How most people react:

“YEYEYE! My name is getting out there! I have ARCs! I am loved! Weeeeeeee!”

How you react:

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“Oh god. Now I have to read all these arcs! The pressure! THE PRESSURE. What if I don’t read them on time? What if I don’t like them? What if I have the wrong opinion no them? WHAT IF I FORGET HOW TO READ?!”

2. Tweeting a negative book review.

How most people go about it:

“Okay, tweet scheduled. Now to clean my floors – hahahaha, I mean read another book.”

How you go about it:

“Okay, I will make sure not to tweet at the author. *bites lip* should I include the author name though? What if she has google alerts on for her name? Oh god, what if she follows me on twitter? What if she sees this? What if this ruins her day? Better not tweet at all…I better just cry in the corner instead!”

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3. Dealing with Triggers in ARCs.

How most people go about it:

“Wow, that book was pretty disturbing. I better eat a sandwich and recoup.”

How you go about it:

“Welp, time to spend the next three days with nightmares and freaking out!”

need-a-hug-o

(This is me hugging you if you’ve ever felt like this btw)

4. Trying to be social on twitter to grow your audience.

How most people Tweet:

“Time to express myself and connect with people! Yeah!”

How You tweet:

“These people I know, who I am often friendly with are tweeting about something I’m passionate about… I COULD join in. But they’ll likely tell me they hate me and hope that I die penniless and alone with a knife in my back. Better just not tweet to begin with. Better yet, let’s delete twitter!

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5. Writing Blog Posts

How most people write blog posts:

“Gee, I’ve worked really hard on this post. I hope people like it! Now to press publish!”

How You write blog posts:

“Better delete that. And that. People will probably be offended at that. Or think that is wrong. Better not say that, I don’t know if it will make someone feel bad. Better change that. Actually, fuck this. Delete it all.”

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These are just five examples of everyday issues that I’ve faced trying to book blog. What about you? Had any struggles with anxiety and depression? Tried to book blog and found it hard? Let us know in the comments what aspects you’ve struggled with.

Kat Kennedy

Kat Kennedy

Co-blogger at Cuddlebuggery
Kat Kennedy is a book reviewer and aspiring author in the Young Adult genre. She reviews critically but humorously and get super excited about great books. Find her on GoodReads.
Kat Kennedy
@megsaysthings always. - 21 mins ago
Kat Kennedy

38 Responses to “5 Ways Book Blogging with Anxiety and Depression Sucks Balls”

  1. Morgan @ Gone with the Words
    Twitter:

    Awww Kat. I especially get the negative review one! I worry about authors searching for their names/book titles (but that’s not my fault, right? RIGHT?) and I especially worry about authors that I’m friendly with/that follow me. Sometimes i’ll rate it on GR but delete the link on twitter. And I don’t often post negative reviews on the blog… but I still worry about the little things I say!! I feel you on the chiming in on twitter also, sometimes I do but sometimes it’s scary and I don’t know if I can have inside jokes with that person yet… can I send them this hilarious inappropriate link? Will they think I’m weird? If they don’t favorite it immediately should I delete it? Ahhhhhhhhh. Anyway, I can relate. Sending you big hugs, you are wonderful 🙂

    • Paula Stokes

      Both of you, Morgan and Kat–it is not your fault. I Twitter search my book titles sometimes when I am procrastinating or when I am discouraged and I need a little emotional boost. And yeah, if I need a boost and find a tweet that says “More like the fart of Lainey” it does not help my day.

      But, it’s all about “Don’t ask if you don’t want to know.” I related to ALL of these points on an author level because I have anxiety too. “What if I ask Blogger XYZ to do a giveaway and she hates my book? That would be so awkward. I emailed and never got a response. Does Blogger XYZ hate me? My agent asked me if I will read this book for blurb but I’m so busy and if I say no I’ll feel so bad that I made another author feels the way I feel when people won’t read my books for blurb.”

      But back to Morgan’s point. There are literal times when seeing something negative will cause my emotional state to deteriorate to Cannot Function levels. But that’s when I don’t go-a-Googling or I delete that Google alert w/o reading it. (I think most authors have Google alerts because it helps us find the pirated copies of our books to report.)

      We, as authors, have the right to feel bad about negative reviews, if for no other reason than your review might make one less person buy our books and most of us need every sale. But we have the responsibility to police our own behavior to protect ourselves psychologically, as least IMO.

      • Paula Stokes

        Oh, and I also fret endlessly about who I should and shouldn’t follow on twitter. Like “Blogger XYZ followed me. I totally respect her. i want to follow back to show my respect. But what if she doesn’t want me to because then she’ll feel uncomfortable tweeting negative thoughts about my books/my friends books. I’d better not follow. But what if she really wants me to follow back and I hurt her feelings by not following and she goes through the list of people I follow and wonders why I follow them and not her?!?” I have literally followed people and then tweeted to them to say “I will unfollow you if you want, okay?”

        Okay. I’m done spamming your archived post, but please know that the majority of authors can probably empathize with these issues 🙂

  2. Mel@thedailyprophecy

    Trying to be social on Twitter is something I can identify with. It’s hard for me, because I’m always afraid people think ‘oh, it’s her again’ or that I say something stupid.. or that they won’t reply at all :p

  3. Kyra @ Blog of a Bookaholic

    This is so true! I can especially relate to #3. I recently got a book to review that deals with OCD but it goes really into it and it’s quite dark and I just can’t bring myself to finish it because it slightly freaks me out. SO YES, I can totally relate!

  4. Jessica @ StuckInBooks
    Twitter:

    I can relate to this SO MUCH. Unsolicited stuff = OMG YAY with a mix of OH DEAR LORD WHAT DO I DO NOW? And as much as I love Twitter, it nags at my mind all the time. I see people talking about stuff I love all the time, but I rarely jump in because I don’t want to intrude and make anyone hate me—or make them not like me more than they already do. Like, there’s great conversations, and I’m sitting here with thoughts that don’t feel worthy of mentioning anyway… SIGH. As for triggers… YES. I’m generally okay with most (I think) but a huge one for me is suicide. Those ones are so hard for me. It really depends on how it turns out in the book to decide whether or not I can pick it up. I know loads of people adored All the Bright Places and have been trying to convince me to read it, but I seriously CAN’T DO IT. I know I can’t. I don’t even need to start it to figure that out. (This is the first time I’ve actually admitted to that.) And…yeah. Do I make any sense? I feel like I’m rambling all over the place. But the point is that I TOTALLY GET THIS. Love you, Kat!!! <3

  5. Cait @ Paper Fury

    Agh, I RELATE. Also getting so overwhelmed by books and ARCs and expectations that you just collapse instead of doing anything. xD Also putting off answering comments because you feel your answers are sucky. Triggers are the WORST though…nunnnngh.
    This post is amazing. <3

  6. Anya @ On Starships and Dragonwings
    Twitter:

    I’m doing the depression thing though new meds seem to be helping. I generally get the emotional exhaustion issues of hoping I get turned down for an ARC because I just am tired of feeling and just don’t write up post ideas because it seems pointless. I totally need hugs after reading disturbing stuff, adult fantasy has a horrible tendency of just dropping horrible things in unexpectedly :(. But we’ll stick together and love each other and keep trying eh?
    Anya @ On Starships and Dragonwings recently posted…Sci-fi and Fantasy Friday {ARCs and $5 Giftcards Weekly!}My Profile

  7. Sarah J.

    It’s hard to want to connect with so many people on the Internet in the different forms offered without offending anybody anymore. I personally love your content and you will always make me laugh. Your posts and reviews are what made me so comfortable with branching out on Goodreads and in the blog community when it came to getting to know bloggers and reviewers. I hope your able to post more when you are feeling up to it!

  8. Dana @ The Unprinted Protagonist
    Twitter:

    2015 was a really really terrible year for me. I think the most upsetting part was that I was too overwhelmed to even enjoy reading and blogging. Books have been my safe haven, my happy place for as long as I can remember, but I struggled to pay attention to and enjoy books. I had so many obligations and so much stress. I got exhausted simply thinking about everything I had to do. I would get review requests and ARCs and just freak out because it was one more thing to do.
    Dana @ The Unprinted Protagonist recently posted…FREE printable January 2016 calendarMy Profile

  9. Alyssa Susanna (The Eater of Books!)
    Twitter:

    All of these are so valid! I especially struggle with the last one – me being the way I am, I tend to be waaaaaay too, um, outspoken? It’s gotten me into “trouble” and I hate that I have to walk on eggshells with everything I say. I need the world’s most effective filter!

    The negative reviews one especially as well – I write a fair amount of negative reviews (not really on purpose, but I’m not afraid to NOT like a book). It’s always awkward trying to tweet about the book, especially if the author follows you or maybe you were featuring them in something. I get way too worked up over that, but in the end, I’m also very zero-f***s-given with the actual review itself, so, meh.

    Well, especially ALL of the points. I am so sorry that you and so many of us feel this way, but it’s always nice to know that we’re not alone, right? *hugs*

    Alyssa @ The Eater of Books!
    Alyssa Susanna (The Eater of Books!) recently posted…Stacking the Shelves (#159)My Profile

  10. Laura
    Twitter:

    I can definitely relate to a lot of this. I am absolutely terrible at socialising on Twitter because it’s just too scary and the fear of rejection is too high, and I spend a lot of my time editing my posts because once I’ve written and scheduled them I suddenly become terrified that something I’ve written will somehow offend someone. Plus someone only has to leave a comment that sounds slightly offhand (and they probably didn’t even mean it like that) and I will then proceed to completely overthink it and become convinced they, and the entire blogosphere hate me…so it’s fair to say I’m prone to overreaction!
    Laura recently posted…Photos on Friday #2: BritainMy Profile

  11. Carina Olsen
    Twitter:

    Hi sweet Kat. <3 Just wanted to say that your blog post is all kinds of perfection. I love it. You are the sweetest. And just. Giving you all the hugs. <3 I adore you. And I think you are awesome 🙂 I'm so sorry that you are dealing with anxiety :\ I have a mild case of it, and it all just sucks. Do let me know if you ever wish to talk about anything. <3 Thank you for sharing about this sweet girl 🙂
    Carina Olsen recently posted…In My Mailbox #219My Profile

  12. Shannelle

    *hugs* I could totally relate to interacting with other people. I get so anxious, overblowing what people might think of me and why are they not replying back and on and on and on. I wish you all the best in handling everything here. If you ever need some hugs, I’m here.

  13. avery

    I get so nervous talking to other people when Im blogging! I just recently started a book blog and everytime I type I keep deleting and changing and UGH ANXIETY GO AWAY! lol But I love this post it made me laugh a lot. 🙂
    If anyone wants to check out my blog and got any tips it would be awesome! plus I got no book friends im a loner 😉
    http://averylouiee.blogspot.com

  14. Jasmine
    Twitter:

    OH MY GOODNESS SO TRUE. I had a bad depression episode, fell behind in my commitments, and then stopped blogging for three years because I couldn’t face going back to netgalley and displaying my shame for publishers. I’d panic attack at the thought of it.

    I uh, fully admit that I have problems and I’m in intensive therapy now.

  15. Lyn Kaye
    Twitter:

    Number 4 and 5 are just spot on. I am working to increase my visibility on Twitter this year, But when I see people gushing over one another on Twitter, and you get no mentions, it really hits home how often you skitter off due to anxiety problems. And I have started to uncover how my migraines have held me back from enjoying social media. I’m working my way back up, but I always wonder how much damage I have done by disappearing for long bouts of time.

    *hugs* I miss seeing you, but I also know that you are away for your own reasons, and I always hope that you are happy and safe, Kat.

  16. Sarah
    Twitter:

    Wow you put my feelings into words! I don’t have an issue writing a negative review because I know I do it tactfully. But my biggest issue is voicing my opinion as a comment on a topic, or a tweet. I find myself apologizing or downplaying my thoughts so I don’t have backlash. I have lots of things to say but somehow I can only post them on my own blog, I’m scared to death to actually tweet them out…
    Sarah recently posted…Book Discussion: Rebecca by Daphne du MaurierMy Profile

  17. Jess

    Aww Kat. *Hugs* I’m actually really relieved you wrote this, as I think I’ve dealt with each and every one of these at some point and thought I was the only one. I couldn’t even review for months because I felt inferior and like my thoughts didn’t matter, couldn’t matter. It took me along time to feel comfortable writing a negative review – but there’s no way I’m at the twitter sharing stage for that yet! One really great upside to book blogging is just how supportive the book community is. I know a couple of bloggers helped me out when I went through a bad time and lost all confidence with it; so just know we are all here for you.

  18. Zarah

    *gives cookies and warm chocolate*
    I am not a book blogger but I can SO relate. I hate posting negative reviews on GR in case I hurt the author… but… then that makes the reviews lopsided and someone might spend money on a book they hate, and be all broke, because I didn’t speak up… so…
    Hehehe… In short: I know what you mean…! 😉

  19. Stacey Voss
    Twitter:

    This is a beautiful article. I’m an author and I’m right there with you. Kill a character and I’m a mess. Do I send out that manuscript? No, everyone will hate it. I won’t mention the bad review reaction. . . except I just did. Oh god, did that make you hate me? I’m so sorry you hated my book . . . er post. . . I’ll write a better one next time, I promise, or you can hate that one too.

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