In theory I’m supposed to review Endsinger but I’m going to be honest with you guys, I don’t really know how. If you love this trilogy, you’re going to love the conclusion. If you haven’t read it yet, you need to examine your life and your choices and if you’ve tried it and don’t like it, I don’t understand but okay.
Much like the previous books in the The Lotus Wars books, Endsinger is brilliant, complicated, beautiful and very, very painful. The pages of this book are probably made from shredded people hearts soaked in the tears of unicorns before said unicorns are herded off and slaughtered so their blood can be used to craft the ink Endsinger is printed with.
Here are a list of things that are probably less painful than reading Endsinger:
- Dropping a cinderblock on your hand
- Lighting your pants on fire while you’re wearing them
- Papercutting yourself all over your body and then swimming in the ocean.
- Sticking a fork in your eye and wiggling it around
- Rolling around in a pit of broken glass
You see where I’m going with this? Jay Kristoff is clearly some kind of demonic fiend who feeds off our pain and grows stronger. I’d hate him for it if he weren’t so damn good at it.
Because I make excellent decisions, I decided an appropriate time to read Endsinger would be on a fun, weekend trip with friends. They were quite entertained as I openly gasped, shouted and sobbed my way through the 432 pages of gut-wrenching betrayal, heart-breaking revelations and general abject misery that make up this flawless, wonderful book (I have issues).
To be fair, there are happy moments as well but if anything those just make you cry harder because you know (or at least you know if you’ve been reading this trilogy which I’m assuming you have been because otherwise what are you doing go get it and don’t come back until you do) that any good things you feel now, you’ll pay for later.
In case you don’t believe me (I’m hurt! when have I ever lied to you?), my sister and my husband gleefully reenacted my “reading face” for the general amusement of all.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hr6r_gDMY2Y
(in slow-mo because I’d just discovered my phone could do that)
With all the sunshine and rainbows ahead of you, I’m not sure what you’re still doing here but in case you need a refresher course, Cuddlebuggerers both past and present are falling all over themselves to tell why you should be reading The Lotus Wars like yesterday.
So grab yourself a wholesale pallet of tissues, enough chocolate to give yourself diabetes and more liquor than the human liver was meant to consider processing and HAVE FUN!
Giveaway
Because nothing says we love you like spreading around the glorious heartbreak, I am giving away a pre-order of Endsinger!
Contest Rules:
- To enter, please fill out the Raffelcopter form below.
- We ask that all entrants be at least 13 years or older to enter.
- The giveaway is open internationally (provided The Book Depository ships to your country).
- When the winners are chosen, it will be announced here and the winners will be emailed.
- Please enter your email address in the Rafflecopter form and not the comments.
L. N. Holmes
The photos and the slow motion video… haha! Seriously though, you’re comments made me want to read this (although I don’t know how, because the book is obviously going to cause me a lot of emotional trauma).
Shelby Young
I love emotional traumatizing books. I think this one is just what I need. 🙂 Nice photos LOL
Heather
I love this series!! Great post 🙂
Irma Jurejevčič
I love socialy abuse books. And I love bad ass heroines, too.
Morgan @ Gone with the Words
Well this scares me a lot but also makes me want to read it, so mission accomplished! Hahaha. Those pictures are absolutely priceless. I don’t know how many tears and dead unicorns I can handle at the moment but I’ll suck it up and add this series to my TBR!
Nina
I am looking forward to reading this book but I fear it, too. 😐
Susan T.
Wow! I am now terrified of this book but I can’t help but want it!
Shelley @ Gizmos Reviews
I’m up for some pain and suffering! Let’s do this!
Alexandra
The strongly emotional books, which can make my chest tighten. Thank you for the giveaway!! 🙂 <3
Lynn K.
Hahahaha the pics are adorable! I’m not sure about my headcanon…I was going to say populate the world with more Night Furies, then wait, this is not HTTYD.
Bonnie @ A Backwards Story
Agreed! It was SO HARD to review this book! I wound up doing the series as a whole since I’d never reviewed the second book previously.
…”made from shredded people hearts”…so true! It was staggering. After reading it, I went to pick up a 2015 title I was anticipating, and there was a murder within the first chapter or two and I went, “I can’t read anything traumatic right now. I am still recovering!”
It was my favorite of the three, though!
G. Donald Cribbs
Basically, I loathe Jay and his crack-book series that makes me keep reading even though I know he will do excruciating things to my favorite characters and he likes to gouge the hearts of little puppies with a writing nub and craft his words in their blood. Despite the guilt I feel for those poor innocent puppies, I need to know what happens, GIVE ME THE FINAL BOOK!! Okay, I got that out. I’m all better now. Or not, but I could be, if I win…
Wayne D'ava (@WretchedDreams)
This series rocks!
Anonymous
I loved this review and now can’t wait to read the second and third book!
Chris
Very excited for the conclusion! Awesome series, even if it is a bit crushing.
Nina
My headcanon is that jaime and brienne of ASOIAF love each other.
PRAISE!!
Natalie Monroe
Ugh, I’m so behind on my reading, I haven’t even read the second book! But the way you described it, it might be better for my heart…
Ashfa
I already had my heart ripped out after reading Kinslayer so looking forward for more heart ripping moments!
Irina Zorg
Hi!
If you do not mind, we published information about your amazing giveaway on our blog http://giveawayscollection.blogspot.com/2014/11/blog-tour-endsinger-by-jay-kristoff.html
Have a nice day!)
erinf1
I live under a rock, so I’m just starting this series 🙂 But nice to know that I have a lot to look forward to too! thanks for sharing!
Carina Olsen
I am still depressed that I did not get to be a part of this blog tour. HMPH. But. I have read the book. <3 And I have loved it to pieces. So I can't be too upset about it. BUT. I wanted to take part. HMPH. ANYWAY 😀 I do love this post so so so much. <3 You guys are amazing. And I am thrilled you loved Endsinger too 😀 Wasn't it just SO GOOD? But oh. SPOILER: I missed one thing about the book. A sex scene near the end. Hmph. So many sex scenes in the books, but not the one I wanted. How mean 😀 SPOILERS OVER. Anyway. This post is all kinds of awesome. <3 Thank you so much for sharing 🙂 Also. Thank you so much for international pre-order giveaway 😀 This book is all kinds of expensive to buy o.O (I will buy it, but winning it would be the best, hiih. <3)
Headcanon outcome? That has always been Yukiko and Kin together for me. <3 I want them together more than anything. I have read the book, but no spoilers 🙂
Vivien
I’m anxiously anticipating this release!!! I’m so nervous. But I know Jay won’t let me down. I can’t even begin to speculate though!
Maisoon
This is such a cool review >.>
-itches to read-
Jaime Lester
I am going to post my comment, and then run away with my head ducked in shame, so go easy on me because I KNOW I deserve to be smacked upside said ducked in shame head. I have not read this series. YET. You gotta believe me when I say this though. I have had every intention of doing so since the beginning, but I made a promise to myself that I would wait until the final book is released so that the pain at the end of each book isn’t so bad. Now that Endsinger is getting closer, I can start Stromdancer once and for all and no more ducked head! Thank you for the giveaway!
Maisoon
” I’d hate him for it if he weren’t so damn good at it.”
That’s what.. she… said..
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