I recently went to an event where the fact that I was a book reader was raised. What proceeded was the most painful, inane discussion I think I’ve ever had to sit through. It was full of many questions and statements I’ve heard before. I can’t be the only one to get these, so I’m here to share my pain in the hopes that you know it too. So here I am to bring you some of the highlights of that conversation and some of the mental responses I couldn’t help but elicit.
1. Have you read Twilight?
No, not everyone has read Twilight. Okay, maybe I have, but that is beside the bloody point. Nobody cares about Twilight. Move on!
2. Have you read (random book name)?
Just because I read a lot of books doesn’t mean I’ve read that one random book you once read. So stop listing them at me and acting disappointed that I haven’t made time to read them. Do you even realise how many books are published every WEEK?!
3. How do you even have time to read?
I make time. Because reading is important to me. Just like you make time for five different reality TV shows about cake baking.
4. Don’t you find it hard to read a whole book?
Don’t you find it hard to finish a whole sentence?
5. Books are boring.
I’m sorry that books don’t seem to fill the entertainment void left in your brain by the likes of Honey Boo Boo.
6. I only read classics because they don’t publish like they used to.
That’s right, you’re too much of a genius reading The Great Gatsby for the fifteenth time to bother with anything new and possibly equally brilliant. Elitist piece of *&$#!
7. Isn’t YA only for kids?