Ah! Marvel’s Deadpool! The greatest Superhero of them all!
Bitter Book Bloggers Are Just Jealous Aspiring Authors
…and other arguments so dumb, they hurt.
**Warning: Angry rant ahead**
So we recently had a comment on the blog that reflected ones we’ve seen time and time again directed at us and at many other bloggers. Only usually people aren’t quite so unbelievably rude as to say it in our own space. And since we like to educate as well as entertain here on Cuddlebuggery, I wanted to take some time to discuss this issue so that people can stop embarrassing themselves in public.
Now, there are a number of aspiring authors who blog and who write book reviews. Simple facts: even just statistically speaking, almost none of us will ever get published.
And sometimes reviews get written, things get said, people get angry and a common accusation to come out is that, “You hated that book because… well, you’re just jealous that you haven’t been published yet!”
This is almost entirely as baffling and stupid as the concept of penis envy and it completely detracts from the point (and not a penis point either. I mean, first of all, penises? C’mon guys…)
Look, I’m not going to begrudge someone their coping methods, alright? If you can only sleep at night with the knowledge that I’m a bitter wannabe author disparaging great novels out of insane bouts of jealousy, then go right ahead. Cuddle up to your cock-shaped pillow (to supplement the penis envy we apparently all have) and sleep easy. There, there. It’s alright. Don’t ever leave that safe space, my friend.
However, for the sake of the rest of us, I have to point out that this accusation is just balls-to-the-wall, batshit idiocy on a level that has been known to cause critical population declines. Not unlike ignoring the safety warnings on chainsaws – you’re only really hurting yourself, but it pains the rest of us to watch you.
Even just on a logical level it fails so hard that you run this risk of Fox News becoming resentful that they’re being outclassed. After all, if we’re so jealous of books that we’re driven to near apoplectic frenzy from resentment, then wouldn’t we hate all books? Especially the really great ones? I mean, if that were the case I would be trying to punch Laini Taylor in the face. The very mention of Leigh Bardugo would put me in a self-inflicted hate coma. Jay Kristoff would likely already be dead, the poor bastard! I would not be trying to marry Veronica Rossi (I mean, I try to marry a lot of people every day – but I REALLY want to marry Veronica Rossi.)
If I was truly just taking out my impotent rage on the world because I’m not published, then nothing would be good. I wouldn’t rave about my favourites, I wouldn’t befriend awesome authors, I wouldn’t work my butt off getting out the word about amazing books that made me cry. I wouldn’t do it all for free. I wouldn’t spend five hours a day on a blog if it wasn’t out of love.
We don’t hate books because we’re jealous. I hated THAT book because, to me, it represented a lot of things wrong with the Young Adult genre. A genre that I love, that I spend a significant amount of my time promoting, reading and participating in.
Hey, it’s hard when people hate your favourite books. Man, I’ve been there. I’ve so, so, been there. But that doesn’t give you a free pass to be a dipshit. Nothing does unless you can be really funny about it, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t try because my magnanimity and willingness to indulge you doesn’t go quite that far.
But, I get it. Thinking is hard for you. It hurts. Instead of leaving you to draw the obvious conclusions because, for starters, I don’t have that much faith in you, I’m going lay out the truth for you. Why, and the only reason why, I write critical reviews with lots of snark.
I do it because I am a massive, massive fan. Particularly of Young Adult literature. Authors are my rock stars. Bloggers are my best friends. I couldn’t think of anything else in the world I’d rather do. And when I hate something, more often than not, I hated it because I was just so disappointed. I want all Young Adult books to be amazing, and when they’re not, I get sad, I get frustrated, I get angry, and then I start expressing that sadness, frustration and anger on my blog. I want every YA book out there to rock my fucking socks off. I want everyone to read these amazing books and I want to be a part of spreading them around the world so that everyone can experience the awesome.
When I read a bad book, I want to talk about why I hated it – to better help people find books they’re going to love. I don’t review the way I do to hurt people. Whether I loved or hated a book – it gets my passion, my honesty and my form of expression. I think readers deserve to hear the good and bad about books, and they deserve to be treated like equals capable of making their own decisions on what to read – not sheep who must be led always in one direction, and that is toward a sale.
Speaking generally, to all people who say dumb things like this, the suggestion that a blogger’s review about a book is a direct result of, or influenced by author-envy is just as ridiculous as my suggestion that your disgust at my reviewing style is due to an abnormally large case of reviewer-jealousy. I mean, who knows? Maybe you are just jelly that you can’t review as well as me. I hope that sounds, to you, as moronic as I felt when I typed it.
And, most importantly, if that doesn’t explain things for you, then I cheerfully invite you to piss off because your opinion means exactly three fifths of sweet bugger all here unless you start paying hosting fees, motherfucker.
Kenya Wright
I’m gonna need you to get a cock-shaped pillow giveaway! Please oh Please!
a_tiffyfit
Kenya Wright They do have those mini breath mints in the shape of penises! We could donate that! 😀
a_tiffyfit
Kenya Wright They do have those mini breath mints in the shape of penises! We could donate that! 😀
Kenya Wright
a_tiffyfit Kenya Wright That saddest part about that is, I’m super excited to have one in my mouth to say I did. SMH! 🙁
a_tiffyfit
Kenya Wright a_tiffyfit Hahahaha! I need to thank my friends throwing bachelorette parties for the knowledge that those even exist. They have lollipops, too. ROFL 😀 We need badges now for our sites. Inside joke to attach to comments like these!
Kate C.
Kenya Wright Penis pillows for everyone! A penis pillow for you. A penis pillow for you. And a penis pillow for you, too!
Sandra
There is no cure for stupid. That is all.
cynicalsapphire
As always, you express everything perfectly. THIS is exactly how I feel about all of that.
The paragraph about disappointment and wanting my socks rocked off every time, especially. And the whole thing about how nonsensical it is to call us bitter hate-readers when we promote the shit out of a ton of books, more than we pan in fact.
Gloriousbooks
Thank you for this post. Honestly, some people really do need to figure out how to filter out the idiocy before it comes out of their mouths….or typed onto a computer screen as it were.
MaijaSteinbrika
That kind of behavior when someone comments shit about other’s negative review is just petty.
I once thought that I could be an author, but then I remembered that I have a logically thinking mind 😀 lol
Me. I’m a very (like, very very) open-minded person when it comes to opinions especially book reviews. I could read a negative review of my favorite book and be okay with it, I even laugh at the rants and jokes. Though, the negative opinion does have to be more or less rational.
stinalindenblatt
Someone used to attack the Querytracker blog whenever one of us mention YA in a post. It got ridiculous. If you don’t like a post, you don’t need to be verbally abusive. And definitely don’t try to pick a fight with all the commenter who loved the post. I enjoyed the Fallen series but I also agreed with EVERYTHING you said in the post, Kat. I have my opinion and you have yours. That’s why this is a subjective business. I wish people would remember that and get a life.
Great post!
Sugar & Snark
Well said! All I can do is shake my head the idiocy!
Ashleigh Paige
IQUTBHV IUWEVNUWIV. Those areguments can go die in a pit. A commenter on my old blog told me she and other people would tear me/my books down if I ever got published, I should show myself and write my own books before criticizing anyone else’s, blah blah blah.
From an anon commenter, of course. Because God forbid they do what they’re advising me to do and show themselves.
I WILL admit to writerly envy sometimes because some writers are amazing and I wish I had talent like they do, but I don’t criticize books out of jealousy the author is published and I’m not. Never have, never will. I don’t let writerly envy touch my review when I’ve finished the book I’m reading and it’s time to get typing.
But speaking of penis envy… One dude told me a woman complaining about her big boobs was like a guy complaining about his big penis. Pffft. I went along with it, but I was LOLing in my head.
Oh, Chrys!
The funniest part about that idiot of a commenter is that he/she created a LiveFyre account solely to blubber that “mada rass”, as we call it in Belize. What is up with authors *Aprilynne Pike for example* and fans not realizing that not all of us have the same taste! What a boring world it would be if everyone raved about The Count of Monte Cristo, 50 Shades or whatever book fancies you.
On the topic discussed, I really think it is sad that people actually think that. Oh, so I blog about books because I am pathetic, jealous, unpublished author. Whut? If that were the case, trust me, there would thrice as much book blogs out.
Fangs4Fantasy
I think the only way to dispel this terrible rumour that we’re jealous aspiring authors is to tell them the truth
No, the real truth. Now I know I’m going to get in trouble with our grand overlord, but the time has come to reveal the conspiracy
We’re not human. No, we’re actually demons. Evil, terrible minions of Grand Master, the Archdemon in charge of Butthurt and Waaahbulances. As faithful servants of his Trantruming Majesty, it is our duty to scour the world for appropriate victims and then goad them into taking part in the sacred ritual of throwing all their Toys Out of the Pram. With every negative review we seek to have another glorious twitter storm of fanpoodles swooping round you in a glorious orgy of flouncing.
Remember, kiddies, every time you tell us that we “read it wrong”, the master is strengthened! Every time you summon the mob against that 1 star review, he grows in petulance!
Indeed, I would like to extend my sincere gratitude to this furious authors and their Loyal Fanpoodles for their angry blog posts, their hissing on twitter, their gloriously passive aggressive comments and all of their amazing little hissy fits.
Fangs4Fantasy
Also, be charitable, the man is a fan of Fallen. I think he may have suffered enough.
a_wordsmith
An amazing post as always. You should also add that IF bloggers were to be jealous of the books they review, it would most likely the ones that they really loved. Why? Because WE WISH WE COULD’VE WRITTEN IT OURSELVES (assuming the blogger is an aspiring author of course). That’s what I think as an aspiring writer who blogs. Why would I be envious of a book I really didn’t like or hated with all of my being? It’s like hating on raisins because they taste so gross and bitter (sorry for any raisin lovers that I might have offended).
Kathy
I really wish I knew you in real life just so I could shake your hand for this post!
Book Hollow
For once it would be nice for an author to say, “I’m sorry I wrote and sold a really crappy book.” Really, how hard is that? Lol! Okay, I really don’t expect an author to say that, but it’s better than the same pathetic excuses and come backs over a bad review.
Raven Paramour
Book Hollow Or better yet, authors accepting constructive criticism and learning from it so they can improve their writing. Instead some authors throw a fit like a three year old.
I would also find interesting if an author not only apologized for writing a bad book but they rewrote the book and made it better than the original.
Book Hollow
Raven Paramour Book Hollow I think authors forget reviews are written for the readers, not to feed/crush the author’s ego.
BrookeBanks
Raven Paramour Book Hollow Exactly! And not get so wrapped up in the “tone” of a review. Good god, I’m expressing and venting my anger FFS so yeah, it reads like I was pissed off <i>at the book</i>.
The last part of that sentence is so important and so often forgotten. I easily can hate books but that doesn’t mean I hate the author. Unless they start acting like a jackass then I just treat them like every other jackass.
Wendy Darling
I hear this crap all the time. But some authors have to find some reason to make themselves feel better, because it just COULDN’T BE that someone just didn’t like their masterpiece.
booksandwine
LOL.
People are whack if they truly, honestly believe those who write negative reviews are jealous, aspiring authors.
a_tiffyfit
Excellent post as always. Since joining goodreads and then more recently starting a book blog, I have seen so many other reviewers get slammed by authors behaving badly or crazy fans. I supposed it’s the nature of the beast of the internet, but boy do I wish these people would get a big slap in the face of something called reality. Since when did we all have to agree that something is “OMFGUHHHHHMAAAZING”? I’d rather the discourse disagreement brings. 🙂
Raven Paramour
I agree with you 100% on what you said and the post was great. By the way I liked how you used the Deadpool comic. Deadpool is awesome.
I hate it how if you are an aspiring writer and you write a bad review of a book, then people think that you are envious of that author. Being a writer myself, it frustrates me sometimes when I read a terrible book series like the House of Night or the Twilight series that these books are published and but so many other talented writers out there that haven’t published yet. Especially when you have to constantly read clichéd stories with annoying Mary Sues. After all Mary Sues are cockroaches-hard to kill and really disgusting.
Yet on the other hand, it gives me hope that I can be a published author and it motives me to write so I can give people good stories to like and enjoy.
Elli_Lo
Have you written any books? If not please do so, if they are anything like all your reviews and rants they will be well written and amazing to read! I am glad you let off some steam through your blog, I’m sure it’s therapeutic for you, and it’s entertaining for me 🙂 Down with Dipshits! LOL
FlyleafHeather
Ha! Atta girl…;)
Loopy_Lu_
Some people will just find any reason to have a go at bloggers, i recently had a comment saying i knew nothing because i wasn’t a published author so i should just go and jump in a river. They also had a go at me for being “too young” despite the fact i review YA and NA books. Books that are pretty much aimed at people of my age.
Some people just are angry at the world and want any excuse to be mean. I love your reviews, even when you one star a book i loved i think your reviews make really good points. All the things you snarkily point out are things i also noticed in the book even if i did still enjoy it.
Adam A
It’s like you’re the Simon Cowell of YA Lit.
You have haters now, Kat, I think this makes you popular.
PARAFANTASY
FallenFeller’s comment has got to be the most idiotic thing I’ve ever read. If you’re supposedly jealous of authors and intentionally write bad reviews how does that explain all the glowing reviews you’ve written? Book bloggers in generally people who love books. It’s just common sense. It’s time like this where I feelespecially lucky for being born with a brain. I love your reviews! Snark and everything included. 🙂
aadnama
Well, that comment was a bit ridiculous.
Firstly, writing a bad review because of jealousy is just dumb, and you are the complete opposite of dumb. Secondly, that person needs to learn to not get so butthurt so easily. Not everyone is going to like your favorite book, and that’s a fact of life. You deal with it, because when you look at the big picture, it doesn’t matter.
jeannie platt
Right on… Love your post… People can be Asshats just keep doing what you do.
Bookie565
Nice post, you’ve definitely made some good points. Most people don’t hate just to hate.
NatalieAguirre
So agree what you said here and everyone in the comments. If people can’t handle bad reviews of their books, they shouldn’t read them. I’m an aspiring author and book blogger. I have so much respect for bloggers like you who spend so much time reading books and sharing them with the rest of us for the love of books.
Book likes and dislikes are subjective and we all have the right to our opinion. Sure, rejections by agents, publishers or reviewers hurt but we need to be adult about it.
mego
While I love this whole post, the last line made me spit water all over my desk.
EmmaManolis
Yes! Thank you! *high five*
LisaPottgen
Couldn’t possibly be that the blogger just did not like the book, right? Has to be jealousy. And I absolutely love that last line. This kind of goes along with my post yesterday about honesty. I refuse to color my reviews based on how someone is going to react. I have held to this from day one. If someone does not like what I have to say, then they can poss off and go somewhere else. The bottom line is we are all entitled to our opinion, right?
Kate C.
For some odd reason, that comment irked me as much as when JA Konrath said that if you are an author and you give a fellow author a low review, it showed a startling lack of empathy.
I don’t think so. I know what it’s like to get a 1 or 2 star review, or to have someone judge my book on a page, or have someone misinterpret something… the difference is, I don’t think it’s the end of the world. If you do, then maybe you should stick your head in a hole and ignore the world. You and everyone else would probably be better off.
Kara_M
OMG Kenya’s comment down there cracked me the hell up. Ummm you know I support this post 100%. Team review and Team author who can take criticism, ALWAYS.
aprilmom00
Preach it sister and I don’t want to write that novel. claps hands 🙂
I want to review books. Yes I have read some bad books , but they are my feelings toward the book. I reading the book, and not reviewing the author .
parajunkee
Why do I not have a penis shaped pillow. Better yet, I need a penis shaped chair that I can sit in all day while I’m on my damn blog…it can make me feel special and in control. And now I bow down in supplication to your awesome. I wish I had the balls to write something as eloquent and fuck-off-ery as this…
parajunkee
Why do I not have a penis shaped pillow. Better yet, I need a penis shaped chair that I can sit in all day while I’m on my damn blog…it can make me feel special and in control. And now I bow down in supplication to your awesome. I wish I had the balls to write something as eloquent and fuck-off-ery as this…
judyree
I really liked this post, but what really sold it for me was the very last line. Eloquent and succinct all in one glorious sentence.
But I do want to know when the giveaway for the penis shaped pillows will be happening. You do realize you will have to give some away, right?
veela_valoom
I love it when you get ranty Kat. Perfect post is perfect.
readerlee
As I already consider you my personal book shopper, I applaud your honest, funny, snarky, heart felt and sometimes passionate reviews. I am ever so thankful that now I finally have some extra money in the bank (having been saved from spending my monthly book budget on total crap) and plan on spending a little of my hard earned money for the purchase of my own penis shaped pillow. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!…….. I will certainly become the envy of all of my book and penis loving friends!!!
Belle_G
This post is full of awesome! So true, the reason I get mad about bad books is because it’s disappointing and such a waste.
Archer
I don’t need to post this, cause you know how I feel Kat…
But yeah, this, 100% accurate.
Archer
I don’t need to post this, cause you know how I feel Kat…
But yeah, this, 100% accurate.
Rossi
I got directed here by the BookWurm and while I don’t read YA except on the rare occasions, I’ll have to stalk your blog now because your snark is a thing of Pure Golden Beauty.
Thanks for writing this…I cracked up a lot more loud than I should have in the middle of the night.
JeepinJaime
That last GIF is the best GIF ever. Seriously, I want to blow it up and put it on my wall. Made of awesome. Even ranting, you make me laugh my ass off, and I much appreciate it. If I am going to read a negative review about a book that I personally loved, I want it to be your negative review!
JeepinJaime
That last GIF is the best GIF ever. Seriously, I want to blow it up and put it on my wall. Made of awesome. Even ranting, you make me laugh my ass off, and I much appreciate it. If I am going to read a negative review about a book that I personally loved, I want it to be your negative review!
Annie J
hear, hear!
I don’t care if that’s lame it was honestly my first reaction after reading this. I so agree – I don’t want books to be bad. I want them to be amazing and insightful and fun and all sorts of different, wonderful things. And when they’re not I get disappointed – especially if I can see very clearly how they could have been better. But always I think you have to be honest about your reaction to a book and let other people be adults and make their own decisions about whether or not to read or like a book. And it’s ok when you like something I didn’t.
But I enjoy that you write your blog posts and reviews with such a fun sense of humor in your honesty. I read this blog because you and Steph are a very fun sort of snarky and I like the way you express your excitement and disappointment.
Annie J
hear, hear!
I don’t care if that’s lame it was honestly my first reaction after reading this. I so agree – I don’t want books to be bad. I want them to be amazing and insightful and fun and all sorts of different, wonderful things. And when they’re not I get disappointed – especially if I can see very clearly how they could have been better. But always I think you have to be honest about your reaction to a book and let other people be adults and make their own decisions about whether or not to read or like a book. And it’s ok when you like something I didn’t.
But I enjoy that you write your blog posts and reviews with such a fun sense of humor in your honesty. I read this blog because you and Steph are a very fun sort of snarky and I like the way you express your excitement and disappointment.
kadburytweets
LOL! As soon as I saw the there there .gif I thought of Sheldon. Just had to say that 😛
ALSO OMG this theory is hilarious
Heartless_Lyn
Oh my Gods….I cannot even express the magnitude of win in this article. I love it. I love how someone pointed out that half of my Twitter feed would be in serious danger if I was honestly trying to take down every author I inspire to be.
Holly Letson
The person that posted that annoying comment shouldn’t have wasted the time to do so. Really, it would have been better had it not happened.
That aside, nice article. Really makes me want a penis-shaped pillow, though.
Holly Letson
The person that posted that annoying comment shouldn’t have wasted the time to do so. Really, it would have been better had it not happened.
That aside, nice article. Really makes me want a penis-shaped pillow, though.
DayDreamsWorld
This is an amazing rant! Love it! Go Girl!
But your exactly right, it’s our passion and why would we spend so much time keeping out blog up to date, sending emails and reading, if we were just going to say every boo was bad. When people say they hate my favourite book, I get mad. Or more frustrated than anything. People are free to have their opinions, but not if they are out to be mean. This is a fantastic post.
Heartless_Lyn
And, would you know, we STILL see this phrase. Just a few days ago, someone said that anyone trashing a book is jealous. Nevermind that the writing was horrible and the story sucked donkey dorks, but you know us bitter bitches. We be hatin’, yo.
The Sunday Post, Issue 2 - Between My Lines
[…] blogosphere. Go Sunday Visiting!Bookish Thoughts on Classics – Asti makes a classics confessionBitter Book Bloggers – Cuddlebuggery refutes the argument that bitter book bloggers are just jealous aspiring […]