In 10 Lines: The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

15 March, 2013 Musing Musers 46 comments

reading_by_estelar-d3d6jv0Welcome to In 10 Lines.  Ever wanted to know what happens in a book, but couldn’t be assed reading it for yourself?  Cuddlebuggery comes to the rescue with In 10 Lines.  In 10 Lines we will tell you everything you need to know about the featured book so that you can cheerfully move on with your life, or choose to read it should your attention be piqued.  So sit back, relax, and try not to clench as we proceed.

Today we’ll be reforming The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, a book that I really am quite fond of. The eternal question of who to ship, Gale or Peeta still haunts the fandoms and the debate comparing it to Battle Royale is intensely interesting to all hipster.  So, without further ado, we present to you: The Hunger Games In 10 Lines.

Katniss: Don’t worry, Prim.  You have an infinitesimal chance of winning this random lottery that decides which children will fight to the death for the country’s amusement.

Effie Trinket: Primrose Everdeen!

Katniss: Shit.

Peeta: It was brave of you to take your sister’s place.  Now, say goodbye to your boyfriend Gale.  And me.  Because I’m probably going to die but I think you’re going to win.

Katniss: What game are you playing? Are you going to double cross me?  Also, AAAAHHH!  Flying spear!  Shit.  That gorgeous little girl, Rue, just died!

Announcer: We are arbitrarily changing the rules so that two can survive instead of just one.  So long as they’re in the same team.  No, we have absolutely no ulterior motive for doing this…

Peeta: Thank god you found me, Katniss.  We can make it!

Announcer: Ha!  Jokes!  See?  It was funny!  We gave you hope and now one of you has to kill the other! Hahahaha!

Katniss: Well, we’re both about to eat these poison berries, so you totally better cave.

Announcer: Fuck.  Girl, you are in so much trouble from the Capitol.  But alright, scamps!  You both get to live!

The End

46 Responses to “In 10 Lines: The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins”

  1. Adela Cacovean

    Haha, I don’t think I would’ve managed to sum it up in only 10 lines… Congrats!

  2. Adela Cacovean

    Haha, I don’t think I would’ve managed to sum it up in only 10 lines… Congrats!

  3. magic5905

    So funny!!  Thanks, I needed that, can’t stop laughing.

  4. MaijaSteinbrika

    This pretty much summs it up 😀 really funny, but true
    My favorite: ” Effie Trinket: Primrose Everdeen!
    Katniss: Shit.”

  11. Laurens Loquacious Lit

    See now if the real book was like this, instead of filled with all that crap about the train, I might have made it past that part in the book. 🙂

    • KatKennedy

      Laurens Loquacious Lit Hahah.  Sorry you didn’t like it!

  14. Kate C.

    Everytime I read one of these I’m reminded how spectacularly talented you both are.  Seriously, HOW do you write these, because they are brilliant.  Do you write like 50 lines and weed them out?  I must know!
    And of course, my favorite line is the third one. ahahaha

    • KatKennedy

      Kate C. Hahahahahahahhahaha!  No.  You give me waaaaay too much credit, Kate.  50 lines?  No way.  I just write 10 lines and try and make it work. But thanks anyway!

  16. Ambrluvsports

    This was fuuunny 😀
    I hope you guys do CF and MJ too

    • KatKennedy

      Ambrluvsports Shamefully, I don’t think I remember much of CF and MJ!

  17. alexandrasscribblings

    This is such an awesome idea.  I have a book that’s called “100 Great Books In Haiku” which is similar, but this actually gets the plot across, whereas the haiku really doesn’t.
    Love it!

    • KatKennedy

      Alexandra @ Alexandra’s Scribblings That does actually sound like a great book!

  18. Aj M

    I loved this trilogy, it grab my attention and couldn’t read fast enough.  Still have not seen the movie yet!  Not even sure I want to, movies rarely as good as the books!

  19. xbooksmartie

    Hehe, I beg you – don’t ever stop doing these posts! Hilarious!!!

  20. makeshiftjen

    This posts are pretty much favorite thing in life right now.

  22. EscapeInABook

    Kat, will it be weird if I told you that I love you? These posts are hilarious, I love the “In 10 Lines” concept. Happy weekend 🙂