You may all be familiar with Kendare Blake, author of horror novels, creator of the very huggable Anna Dressed in Blood. But what you may not know is the story of how we met. Long ago, when the earth was flat and before the Cuddlebuggery that you know of existed, Kendare and I met on twitter. In fact, she was one of the very first authors. And I remember thinking what sort of brave-souled author would dare follow me. Didn’t she know that I ate authors’ brains for breakfast and mummified their bodies with the pages from their own books?! But she’s been so awesome and there from the very first beginnings of Cuddlebuggery when no one was visiting the site but our moms.
When Cuddlebuggery was born, Kat and I started going on these wild author adventures and Kendare kinda saved me from Anna snatching out my innards. (Thanks again for that, by the way.) Not only that, but this fierce lady’s got a wicked sense of humor. Seriously, go lose a few hours of your life browsing her blog. Your abs will never be the same. So that’s why we were stoked (the kids still say that, right?) when she agreed to help us celebrate an entire year of Cuddlebuggery shenanigans by spreading rumors about us. Oh, Kendare. We wouldn’t have it any other way.
A Cuddlebuggery Roast Post
By Kendare Blake
Welcome to the roast of Stephanie Sinclair and Kat Kennedy. Only it’s not quite a roast, because roasts make fun of true things about someone and I’m just inventing enormous and malicious rumors about Kat and Steph in the hope that you will spread them all over the internets. There’s a tiny voice in my ear that sounds suspiciously like Neil Patrick Harris saying, “You shouldn’t call it a roast post then, you should call it a rumor post,” but “Rumor” doesn’t rhyme with “Post,” so shut the fuck up, Neil Patrick Harris. Here we go!
Most of you know Stephanie Sinclair as the adorably snarky and clever, well-read reviewer and blogger at Cuddlebuggery. Sure, she’s fun. Sure, she’s nice. Sure, there’s nothing really wrong with her. But Stephanie Sinclair has a dark side. Because Stephanie Sinclair…
CAN’T READ!!! She’s a total fraud. Comes off all insightful and with attention to detail, but really she keeps a little old man in her basement and makes him read all the books aloud to her or she won’t give him his twice daily baked potato. She’s an exploiter of the elderly, people.
She also has severe personal boundary issues. Spend five minutes with her and you’re wearing her like a backpack.
￼This may or may not be an actual photo of me
Wearing Stephanie Sinclair like a backpack.
Kat Kennedy. Blogstress. Cover designer wizard. Reading machine. Wicked sense of humor. Innocent on the outside, but inside, there’s crazy you wouldn’t believe, because Kat Kennedy…
IS A DRUNK!!! We’re talking Boozy McBeerpants. It’s let’s meet up for drinks, and let’s meet up for lunch and drinks and let’s meet up for dinner and drinks, and let me make you a tunafish sandwich with a shot of vodka in it. She won’t even read a book unless you dip it in gin and tack an olive on the cover. (A handy tip for authors who need ARCs reviewed.)
Also, she is weirdly attached to a pillow with a picture of Alfonso Ribeiro on it.
￼That’s right. Carlton from The Fresh Prince.
She brings it everywhere. You might think that’s no big deal, but you won’t once you run into Kat and have to talk to it like it’s a real person. That pillow is REALLY pushy about what movie it wants to see.
To wrap-up, Kat and Steph are not to be trusted! And should be avoided in all social situations. Seriously. If I know they’re going to be somewhere, I don’t leave the house without a fake mustache, because they are both easily fooled by most basic disguises.
But despite all this, I want to wish a happy Blog Anniversary to these two crazies. And I invite blog followers to spread these rumors, and leave their own in the comments. Because I’m sure there’s a lot of nutty effen WHAT?!-type things that even I don’t know about Kat and Steph.
HAPPY BLOG ANNIVERSARY, CUDDLEBUGGERY!
The winner can choose between one the following:
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-A pre-order of Antigoddess
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